You'd think it would be hard to make this result worse than it was but I seemed to achieve that on Saturday evening when, for reasons I'd rather not go into, I found myself at 5pm in a bar in Sticksville, Suffolk with poor radio reception, no mobile connection and no TV (yes - such places do still exist).

I knew West Ham were 1-0 down to a first half Burnley goal - although only Saturday's nights Match of the Day could reveal the full horror of the 'up and over' played forward by Danny Fox and Nugent's lob over a struggling Upson and stranded Green - so I was hoping the second half would bring about an improvement and, at the very least, an equaliser.

Imagine then, how pleased I was after sitting in the Car Park for 20 minutes fiddling with a self-tuning radio that refused to tune - We fans are strange creatures, are we not? - to at last pick up an AM signal on the car radio where I heard the dulcet tones (that's sarcasm, by the way) of the former wife beater and Liverpool forward Stan Collymore who was heard quite clearly to say '....but Burnley couldn't keep a clean sheet today and conceded an 81st minute goal from Ilan, scoring on his debut for the happy Hammers...'. It's the 'happy' Hammers bit that got me; 'Happy' could surely only mean the goal was a late equaliser and West Ham had taken what I still considered to be an unsatisfactory point from a match I expected them to win. I decided not to torture myself anymore and watch the highlights 'live' later that evening and see what the game produced.

It's so rare that you can actually go about your business nowadays without knowing the score that I found the whole MOTD experience to be slightly surreal. With the Nugent goal already shown I become nervous whenever the play had Burnley attacking as, being highlights, I knew this must mean a chance was coming up for the home side. On the other hand, West Ham's posession meant the away side had an opportunity looming so I was on my feet and screaming 'yes' when debutant Benni McCarthy rounded Burnly keeper Jensen in the 32nd minute and shot towards an open goal, only to sit down with a groan when Leon Cort cleared it off the line in spectacular fashion.

Because of that idiot Collymore's exclamation, I was pretty surprised when Fox again produced a defence splitting 'pass' albeit from a free kick this time that curled into Green's top corner from a tight angle on 55 minutes but, I reasoned, Stan was a man we could trust (sarcasm again, sports fans!) and the magnitude of Ilan's 86th minute goal must herald a two goal comeback so, as West Ham piled forward and Burnley wobbled dangerously, I sat waiting for the equaliser. It was to be a fruitless wait.

Parker came close when a good hit was turned away superbly round the post by Jensen and I was again up and punching the air when Cole had the ball in the net, only to find the linesman flagging for offside. Of course, this being highlights, I had no idea when these incidents took place and less clue as to how long the highlights were going to be on for. I later found Parker's chance was almost immediately after Fox's goal while Cole's disallowed effort was timed at 66 minutes. The heart sunk a bit when Stanislas' free-kick clipped the bar in what I later discovered was to be the 71st minute but it dropped to my boots when substitute Ilan hit the goal that I'd been waiting for for so long. If there had been a second surely that buffoon Collymore would have mentioned it...? Even so, it didn't stop me rising again to scare my cats when Mido's injury time shot seemed to be going in only for the ball to cannon off the post so fast that it fooled the inrushing Ilan who could only watch the ball fly under his body as he prepared to shoot.

Burnleys' raptuous celebrations confirmed what, even after the final score flashed up, a result I could barely comprehend so convinced had I been by Stan Collymore's comments. I could only console myself with the post-match statistics that revealed that the Hammers had had an amazing shot count of 23 of which 8 were on target compared with Burnley's two on-target shots that had resulted in goals. Green had made no saves while Jensen had made seven; in essence all Green had to do was pick the ball out of the net. After I wondered if perhaps Collymore didn't know the score either?

Make no mistake; this was a poor, poor result against a team I expected to beat and who I had comfortably prophesised would drop into the bottom three once their home form disappeared. The Hammers defeat was twofold as the win propelled Burnley above us but also ended a winless streak that was surely eating at a team still coming to terms with top-flight football. Now it's West Ham who have only one win in ten to show and, despite the number of draws, it's surely the Upton Park outfit who are wondering where the next three points is coming from. West Ham are now in the bottom three and Gianfranco Zola is now facing a real struggle.

I hate that Stan Collymore though...