Day 21: 'The Little Drummer Boy' - The Dandy Warhols
Firstly this is far and away the best version of this hoary old chestnut I've ever heard but, more importantly, what the hell is this addition to the Nativity all about?
Ok I understand that even Matthew, Mark, Luke and John can't agree on what happened one night about 2,000 odd years ago but let's look at this logically, shall we?
There you are; you've just given birth, you're a virgin - possibly - and there's no room at the Inn so you've had to go into labour in a stable.
After hours of struggle you've given birth to the Son of Man and been visited by Angels, some shepherds and some Magi. So far, so bippy. Then this kid turns up with a drum and says "I've got no presents but I have a drum, shall I play for you?". You think for a moment; you've just got the baby Cheesy back to sleep and this kid wants to bang a drum because he forgot to stop at the All-nighter for a present (I mean, anything would have done - Gold was good obviously but Myrrh?).
What would ANY Mother say in this situ? "Aw go on then, I'm sure He will smile as he's woken up and, in any case, the Ox and Lamb can beat time so it will be a real good atmosphere and make a lovely song in years to come. Perhaps, by another miracle, some black kid will sing it and then turn white as a result."
No, patently Mary would have flung the kid out on his ear or told him to take up the Harmonica or something. It never happened, did it? Ok Jesus may have been born to a virgin and arrived in Bethlehem, but there was never any drummer popped in. There is absolutely no account of the incident anywhere and the only reason we now see a drummer at Nativity's everywhere is because of this dumb, dumb song. Who wrote and why? Seriously, who though this was a good idea? You may have well as written a song about a Spaceman visiting the scene....... WHAT? WHO? You mean. the bloke who wrote about his wife wearing red? Sheeeeeeet!
(You can see the odd video that accompanies this song at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9bijg6oztw)
Born at an early age a mere defenders' spit from the Boleyn ground, Billy Blagg has seen every West Ham game from 1898 onwards. Blagg was mentioned by Kenneth Wolstenholme in 1966 as one of the people on the pitch during the famous Hammers win over West Germany that lifted the World Cup and he returned to the pitch again for the 1975 FA Cup Final but stayed on the terrace for 1980 FA Cup victory. Blagg, 26, now lives with his eighth wife and innumerable children in a small semi-detached with chintz curtains in Dagenham, Essex and still attends every Hammers match and training session.
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