Alright?

You guys shouldn't be surprised that another week has passed with the revelations that there has been another dressing room bust-up between a player and his gaffer.

James Beattie and Tony Pulis apparently had to be "pulled apart" after Stoke had been beaten 2-0 by Arsenal at the Emirates Stadium.

Why? Not because of the result, but because Pullis had told the lads they had to come in for training on Monday morning - the day after the boys were supposed to be out givin' it LARGE at their Christmas party.

I phoned one of my mates who plays for Stoke - he told me that Beattie and Pullis were foaming at the mouth and about to knock seven shades of s*** out of each other when the rest of the squad dived in.

Let me tell you guys, this sort of stuff happens all the time in football clubs. Probably four or five times a season, I'd guess. No-one really thinks too much of it inside the clubs themselves.

It's only when the story gets leaked to the press that a big hoo-haa is made of it.

I've never had a job outside football, so I really don't know, but I'm guessing by everyone's slightly hysterical reaction that this sort of stuff doesn't happen in offices and workplaces up and down the country?

Which begs the question: why? I mean, you guys must get so pissed off with each other day after day after day, just like us top Premier League footballers do.

You're not telling me that you just sit there calmly when that fat dude who sits next to you spills crumbs from his sausage roll all over your desk for the third time that day.

You're not telling me that you just shrug your shoulders when you discover that the useless sod who joined the company nine months after you did is being paid twice as much as you just because he has GCSE mathematics.

You're not going to tell me that you crack a wry smile when you see your sleazy, middle-aged boss, his armpits stained with sweat, having some sickening flirty banter with the same fit little secretary who turned you down at the office party the week before.

Or do you? You see, it seems to Pharrell Bell that some of you guys should strap a pair on and start learning a few lessons from us top pros. You already idolise us and worship us - why not just admit that your lives would improve dramatically if you just started acting like us too?

I mean, guys, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself once I hang up my boots. I'll probably concentrate on my music, perhaps get into some acting. I don't know.

But I can tell you one thing, whatever I do, I'm not going to take any crap from anyone. That's what my career in football has taught me. If someone disrespects you, you front-up; get in their face, stand your ground. Don't be no pussy.

I don't care if he's the gaffer. Tony Pullis disrespected James Beattie and the rest of the Stoke lads when he told them they had to come into training the day after their Christmas Party - and 'Beats' totally did the right thing in putting him in his place. Pharrell Bell would have done exactly the same thing.

I think the world has gone a bit soft, you know? Society has lost respect for the hard-man, the guy who is prepared to let people know what he stands for and what he's prepared to do to fight for it.

Society can learn a lot from us top Premier League stars and our attitude. We work hard and we play hard. We stand up for each other. We have a keen sense of what's right and what's wrong. And we're prepared to speak out if we see an injustice in the world.

Being a professional footballer is like being the member of an exclusive club - a club that programmes each lad with a very special set of qualities that are guaranteed to make him a SUCCESS.

And that's exactly the reason why so many former professional footballers make big names for themselves in different fields outside the game - because they have been programmed to be winners.

You only need to look at the likes of former Arsenal legend Ian Wright (major TV star); Pele (erectile dysfunction spokesman); former Manchester City star Francis Lee (toilet rolls); former Everton winger Mark Ward (cocaine dealing).

These guys are the successes they are because they took what they learnt in football and applied it to the outside world.

You girls really could learn something from us.

Until next week,

PB