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This Sporting Life
Posted by Pharrell Bell 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Hi there, PB fans.

Thanks for all the positive comments over the last few weeks. Keep them coming. I love to read the messages from all my fans and if any of you have any questions or subjects you'd like me to talk about, by all means let me know.

For example, someone who calls themselves Pizza left a comment on last week's blog asking whether I would ever consider playing football for an international side other than England.

If I'm being honest, Pizza, it is something that did cross my mind a couple of years back. It all came about after my mum told me out of the blue that my the man I had grown up calling "Dad" wasn't actually my real father.

Apparently, my real Dad was actually a roadie for some American rock band. He had convinced my mum he was the lead singer of Aerosmith and sweet-talked her into a cheeky night of fun in a run-down hotel sometime after a concert in Leeds in 1982.

So, it turns out that if I could be bothered to get the proof of my real old man's nationality, I could probably qualify to play for the USA.

The idea appealed to me for a while. Obviously, I would walk into their side and because of the woeful standard of the CONCACAF opposition, they always qualify World Cups so it was quite an attractive proposition.

But I slowly went off the idea. I really didn't fancy all the travelling, flying over the Pacific every other week to play in some qualifier against Nicaragua or Haiti or the like. Also, I reckoned being the star player and carrying the hopes of an entire nation would get really tiring after a while.

So I put the idea to the back of my mind. International football for me was going to be England or no-one. Possibly Ireland or Wales. Maybe Scotland. But certainly not the USA. Hope that answers your question, Pizza.

As I said, any more questions, fire them over to me. I'm totally delighted that you guys are still obsessed by what I've got to say about my life as a Premier League player.

It really makes me happy to know that I am doing my bit to help the Common Man understand a little bit more about our amazing game.

And it's been an interesting week in the Premier League, with that outbreak of Swine Flu at Blackburn and Bolton.

It was a bit of a shock when the news broke, and really it just goes to show the dangers that we go through week after week in the name of sport and entertainment. It really puts things into perspective and the dedication and professionalism we display in times like this just goes to show why we justify our wages.

Am I scared that I might catch the disease myself? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. The very nature of our sport means that we are a group of young men in close contact with each other.

We train together, we shower together, we change together, we eat together, we travel together, we room together on away trips.

When you look at it like that, you can see how intimate footballers get with each other – and that's not even taking into consideration how up-close-and-personal some of us get with the club physios and masseurs.

The dangers are everywhere.

A bead of sweat from the brow of an opposing player; phlegm from an innocent, misdirected spit; a drop of urine or faeces from a mischievous schoolboy prank between team-mates.

All harmless a couple of weeks ago, but now potentially fatal.

It has really got the wind up me. The day after the news broke, I turned up for training with one of those masks over my mouth and some latex gloves on my hands. The lads really laid into me, but you can't be too careful in a situation like this.

I've heard that people have actually DIED from this thing. It's unbelievable in this day and age that a virus like this can spread so easily and cause so much damage. You know, we can send a man to the moon but we're still dying from flu.

And to think it's all the fault of pigs! They look such nice, innocent little things. I mean, I've seen Babe: Pig In The City a couple of times and there is no clue in that suggesting they could be so dangerous.

I don't reckon I'll ever eat pig again. No chance. Better to be safe than sorry. Roast beef instead of pork for me on a Sunday, and no more ham sandwiches in the club canteen. I'll stick to chicken and bacon, thank you very much.

Until this whole horrible episode has passed by, I will be taking extra care. You've got to remember that this is my livelihood we are talking about. A threat to my body is a threat to my earning-potential.

When you look at it like that, you'll realise why I am treating this as life-or-death.

Until next week (I hope),

PB

Comments

Posted by get it right, PB 3 weeks, 2 days ago

PB, Americans may not be on par with the highest standards of world football yet. However, we did all successfully pass grade school Geography lessons.

Seriously, flying over the Pacific every other week? No. The Pacific goes to the Far East and Oceania. Those trips are rare.

Haiti? Come on. An hour or two flight time over warm Caribbean waters from the mainland. Honduras? Depending on where you're coming from, that trip may never be over water at all.

You should know this stuff. You are, after all, half American.

Posted by guatty 3 weeks, 2 days ago

bacon is pig

Posted by SAW 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Why would the U.S. even want you? Who are you, Rooney?
Can you even shine a Scot's boots? Hahaha!

Posted by Matt A 3 weeks, 2 days ago

He's a product of the Half-American Public School System: bacon is also not pork.

Posted by Matt A 3 weeks, 2 days ago

He's also a product of the Half-American Public Schooling: bacon isn't pig, apparently.

Posted by funny stuff 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Hey, PB meant to say the Atlantic Ocean, but no worries there, also hilarious about the "no more pork for me" and then mentioning bacon. Reminds me of homer simpson being stunned when he finds out that bacon, pork-chops, ham, etc all come from a pig, the "magical animal" after lisa tells him whats up.

Posted by Varun Deshpande 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Peebz, PhB, P Bizzy, Fable (PhaBell), PhaBellous, PhaBtastic, you're actually absolutely right about everything except one thing - ham, like bacon, isn't pig at all. So i wouldn't worry about it. Pepperoni's fair game too. I would like to see you playing for the States though - you'd be their best midfield player, much like Claudio Reyna back in the day, only much prettier. That all-white strip would really bring out the color of your eyes, too.
Stay safe, I hear swine flu may be transmitted between the sheets too, ifyaknowwhatImean...

Posted by PBFANATIC 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Best post yet PB, keep it up!

Posted by saved your bacon 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Chicken and bacon?? I thought you were trying to avoid pig. Or what did you think bacon actually was?

Posted by ESizzle 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Pharrell whats Up my man! Whens your rap album coming out- heard it was up there with Busta and Wayne?

Posted by CanadaFootyFan 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Why is this rubbish on Soccernet? Who the hell are you? Pacific Ocean...Really? Bacon? You are about as dumb as a box of hammers and your articles are dreadful!

Posted by nj 3 weeks, 1 day ago

pbell, any chance you are jewish, with all this no pig eating, are u keeping ur religion a secret? anyway, love the blog. keep up the good work

Posted by pbellfan1 3 weeks, 1 day ago

Hey Pharell. This is your best post yet. Advice to live by!!!! And about the swine flu, i hope nothing happens to you....kinda reminds me of when mad cow broke out, swore off beef for 2 years. Nothing but chicken, pork and steak for me. Your number one fan!!! Keep the posts coming.

Posted by omar 3 weeks, 1 day ago

. I dont think he's a real person guys

Posted by muhle 3 weeks, 1 day ago

Guys, guys please give the young man a break. Dont lean too heavily on him hey.....i think the young man just got his facts mixed up.

Posted by Paul 3 weeks, 1 day ago

I'm not sure what is funnier, your clearly facetious blog posts or the fact that so many people who comment don't realize that you are not serious (perhaps they aren't serious about thinking you are serious). Either way, another quality post, even if you did slight the U.S. national team(jokingly I hope?). I enjoy reading your blog and look forward to each new post.

Posted by American Footy 3 weeks, 1 day ago

Hey PB I think you're all talk, a little pansy man. I'm an American college footballer and I bet I could take you on anyday. I'll show you what soccer is all about.

Posted by jimbchr 3 weeks, 1 day ago

Why is this junk on soccernet? You're a misinformed douche and if this is a worthwhile blog then 'The Hills' is an award winning quality show. This is nothing but an asinine attempt to lash out at the USMNT-major fail

Posted by Anonymous 3 weeks, 1 day ago

what about mad cow disease?

Posted by Mike 3 weeks, 1 day ago

PB, after the Marlon King news, I was wondering if you have you ever been to jail/prison?

Posted by soccernet end this rubbish! 3 weeks, 1 day ago

This is the biggest load of crap i've ever laid eyes on! Seriously I can not believe that Soccernet is still allowing this to go on. I also have a feeling that the people on the inside who think this is a good idea are bombing the boards with pro Pharrel Bell comments. I mean how else can you explain all the "way to go PB" and "You're my favorite ever"'s. The dude is not even real! Also. BACON? Thats pig, but what the hell does this have to do with ANYTHING! YOU CAN"T GET SWINE FLU FROM EATING OR BEING NEAR PIGS! And it is less deadly than the regular influenza virus! But I digress.
1 -Take this crap off an otherwise good website
2 -Punish, severely punish, whosever idea it was to put this garbage up in the first place.
3 -Don't let it happen again

Posted by Rhondo 3 weeks, 1 day ago

Pacific or Atlantic oceans, what's the difference? They both full of wet, salty water and being here or there does not change the meaning of what PB was trying to explain. I think that what he was trying to say is that he is as patriotic as Eduardo, Pepe or Deco, make no mistake about that. I'd say good on you PhB, you make sense to me, even about the pig thing. Reading the comments, some people are so pedantic about little details that they can't see the forest for the trees.Gee people, cool it down, PhB knows his stuff.

Posted by max 3 weeks, 1 day ago

Ok everybody this dude isn't real. Whoever writes this article, you are a terrible blight upon soccernet and your writing is both woefully unfunny and equally annoying. Please stop.

Posted by chg 3 weeks, 1 day ago

I hope they're paying the writer in fake money.

Posted by andy 3 weeks, 1 day ago

Who wrote this? And why does he think he could make the USA team?

Posted by A A 3 weeks, 1 day ago

Who is PB and why does he thinks he has a shot with the Yanks?

Posted by Adam 3 weeks ago

You sound like you think you're a good player. Wasn't your last match a 4-0 home defeat to West Ham?

Posted by Bob Bradley 2 weeks, 2 days ago

Mr Bell, I would be glad to take you into the side, but first I will sap the creativity out of you and require that every game you play long balls to our young teenage striker. If you can do that, and are capable of losing every away game in CONCACAF, you can be in the side.

Cheers,
Bob Bradley

Posted by Pizza 2 weeks ago

Well its unfortunate u wont play internasional football. With the pig stuff u got to be careful so i guess its more KFC and Mcdonalds or maybe become a vegatarian!

Posted by mick 1 week, 6 days ago

what an unfortunate and ill advised creation is Pharrell Bell.

Sort it out Espn.

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