Hi readers.

You know, I was being interviewed the other day for one of those football magazines. They sent some girl (a girl - I know!) to the training ground to come and ask me a few questions and take a photo or two.

Towards the end of the interview, she asked me: "Pharrell, something our readers always want to know is what you think you would have done with your life if you hadn't become a professional footballer?"

I have to admit, the question stumped me. What would have happened to me had I not been born with these extraordinary talents that have got me so far in the sport? I really don't know.

It might surprise you to know that I wasn't really very good at school. Not that I was stupid or dumb or anything, I just didn't really try all that hard. Even at a young age I realised that I had been blessed with an amazing athletic talent and that it would almost certainly make me a millionaire.

I was no good at mathematics; I'm not great with numbers. That's why I pay for an accountant to look after my £25k-a-week. If it were left to me, I would have no end of trouble trying to work out how many days I'd have to save for to buy myself a new car.

History didn't interest me in the slightest, and the only reason I paid any attention in geography was so that I could dream about all the holidays I could take in faraway places once I became rich through playing football.

I can't draw to save my life so I would never have made it as an architect or interior designer, and science lessons went completely over my head.

Neither could I ever get my head around French, Spanish and Italian lessons - although I will admit that being able to speak a foreign language would be beneficial to me now, as a top professional footballer. I'd love to be able to chat up girls in another country.

I suppose that my success with this massively popular blog for ESPN Soccernet shows that I probably would have made my career in journalism or even writing books, had I not made it as a footballer.

It actually makes me shiver to think about how my life might have turned out had I not been as skilful and gifted as I am at sport.

Instead of lounging on my leather sofa in my luxury city-centre flat, writing this blog on a top-of-the-range laptop with my HD plasma TV playing in the background, I might have been sat in some stale office in the middle of an industrial estate, hunched over my desk, filling out HR appraisal forms while some half-wit colleague next to me drones on endlessly about how crap his life is.

Scary. Really scary. Thank god I am Pharrell Bell and I don't have to worry about all that bull.

Another question the journalist girl asked me was whether, if I wasn't a top Premier League star, I would be a football fan. You know, one of you guys.

Would I support a team, would I shell out half my weekly wage to go and watch a game, would I spend my leisure time surfing the internet for the smallest morsel of gossip on my favourite players?

And you know what, in a small way I think I would. I think I would be like you guys. I'd support my local team, through thick and thin. I'd go and watch them when I could, I'd banter about football with my mates over a greasy fry-up at the local cafe just like Ian Wright, Lee Dixon and Ally McCoist in those adverts a little while back.

But I've got to tell you, one thing I just don't get about you guys is when you get in arguments on internet forums.

>>My team is better than your team.

>>No, it's not; my team is better than your team. We beat Fulham and you lost to Fulham so we must be better than you.

>>Ah, but we beat Hull 3-0 and you only beat them 2-1, so that shows we're better than you. And you're an idiot if you say otherwise.

>>You're such a dumbass. When we beat Hull 2-1, we were playing AWAY. You beat them 3-0 AT HOME. You can't compare the two results. If you did, you'd have to accept that ours was better.

>>You're so immature. Shouldn't you be doing your homework? How old are you? Like, TWELVE?!?!! ROTFLMAO!!!

>>I am actually a Professor of Ancient History at the University of Cambridge. SO GO SUCK YOURSELF!

>>If you're so clever, why don't you go and HAVE SEX WITH A MUMMY! ManYoo Rock!

Doesn't it all just seem so lame?

Anyway, you guys will do what you gotta do.

Until next time,

Peace.