Hi readers,

Here's a question for you to start off this week's blog: how buzzing am I? Want the answer? Massively.

I'll be honest with you. I didn't really bat an eyelid when the news came out a couple of months ago that Irish TV company Setanta had gone bust and that something called a "rights package" would be up for auction.

It meant even less to me when it the newspapers said that ESPN had bought the rights to show live Premier League matches this season.

But after my agent sat me down and explained everything in normal language that I could understand, everything suddenly became clear.

If ESPN are going to be showing live Premier League football in the UK, that means they will need some commentators. And what do all football commentators need? That's right - co-commentators…

That, readers, is where Pharrell Bell steps in.

By writing this blog for Soccernet, my agent reckons I have already got my foot in the ESPN door and that I have the perfect chance to take advantage.

He thinks, and I have to agree with him, that Pharrell Bell would make a fantastic co-commentator, and that all I have to do is prove that to the gaffers here at ESPN.

If I can do that, I reckon a fame-and-money-spinning second career in the media beckons. If I play my cards right, Pharrell Bell could be the next Jamie Redknapp - get paid for looking handsome, talking about football, and having a fit, fit wife.

Now, anyone who has read this column knows that Pharrell Bell is not your average footballer. I am smart, intelligent, brainy, clever, bright and sharp. These columns prove it, week-in, week-out.

I don't really think I have to prove anything to anyone. It's so blatantly obvious that I'm good with words, I know the Premier League inside and out, and that I am good-looking enough to be on television.

If I was one of the top gaffers at ESPN, I'd have thought that the P-Dog would have been one of the first names on the sheet when they were looking at which star names they could get to kick off their Premier League coverage with a bang.

So I was just prepared to sit back and wait for my iPhone to ring with the good news. But apparently, it's not that simple. It seems that I am going to have to go into ESPN HQ for some sort of trial to see whether I am right for the job.

The EPSN gaffers have also told me that they are going to be keeping an eye on this blog for signs that I have got what it takes - which is one of the reasons why this week's entry has taken me four hours to write so far.

So, early next week, Pharrell Bell will be sitting in a television studio co-commentating on some Coppa Italia match while a host of ESPN executives listen in. Of course, my commentary won't be going out live - it's just a trial.

And I've got to tell you, I'm feeling pretty confident about the whole thing. I've watched a lot of football matches on television before, and co-commentating seems to be the easiest job around.

It's not even as if I have to be speaking all the time. The main commentator does all the hard work.

He (and it is always a HE, not a SHE) will be the one slogging his guts out with all the meaningless: "Rooney…wide to Nani…loses possession…Ooooh, reckless tackle by Rooney…yes, yellow card shown by the referee."

All I have to do is pipe up with the occasional: "Brian, I'll tell you now, Wayne Rooney has to learn to control his temper. He'll never make it as a top player unless he grows up and starts to show some responsibility."

As I said, I know the game inside-out. There will be nothing going on down there on the pitch that I don't know about. I've seen it all in my time.

Not only that, because I am actually still a top Premier League professional, I know a lot of the lads I'll be commentating on personally. I'll be able to throw in the odd funny anecdote about boozy nights out and training ground bust-ups.

All that stuff is priceless and it's that sort of thing that I reckon makes me an ideal candidate for the job.

The more I think about it, the more excited I am. If I make a go of this, it could open a lot of new doors for Pharrell Bell. More TV appearances. More fame and recognition with the mainstream public. Maybe an appearance on "Dancing on Ice".

The world is my oyster.