How you all doing?

So, I heard back from the gaffers at ESPN following my trial run at co-commentating last week. They left a message with my agent saying that they thought I'd done an excellent job - but they were going to "pursue other options".

I was a bit gutted, I have to say, but whatever. I think they probably thought that taking on a commentary position at this stage of my career might interfere with my football, and so it was probably safer for everyone if we wait until I retire.

After all, ESPN probably don't want the guilt on their hands should my form on the pitch start to drop because I was spending too much time thinking up clever things to say about my fellow pros.

Imagine the uproar in the media. Rather than getting too far ahead of myself, it's probably for the best that I focus on my football - especially because this is a World Cup year.

The whole of England wants an in-form and motivated Pharrell Bell come the end of the season; a commentary role would just have been a distraction, and I don't need another one of them. I have more than enough as it is.

I'm not ruling it out after I retire. Because I earn £25k-a-week now, I'm not actually going to have to work once I finish playing football, but it might be nice to have something to do as a hobby.

I've even been toying with the idea of writing a book.

Before Soccernet asked me to start this blog, the thought of writing anything would never have crossed my mind. I mean, I used to absolutely hate writing. And I mean writing anything.

I remember one time, I was about 22-years-old, I had to fill in an application form for a new passport. I put it off for weeks and weeks before I finally plucked up the courage to start - and when I did, I couldn't even remember how to hold the pen!

It just felt weird in my hand, like this foreign object in my fingers. I tried to write my name and it looked like a four-year-old had picked up a crayon and started filling in the application form for me.

In the end, I had to get my mum to come round and finish it for me.

It was quite a traumatic incident, that. It put me off writing for a long time. But since computers have taken over, I have found myself much more confident and able to get to grips with the English language.

And now I am well into doing this blog. I love it. I love bashing out the words every week, letting the world know what's going on with the P-Bell.

So, I started thinking that now I am well on top of the English language, I should probably write a book. I have had some really good ideas for stories.

I started to tell my agent about this idea that I had, about the French Invasion of Russia in the Napoleonic era and the impact it had on the aristocratic families there.

I wanted people to read my novel and feel like they were staring at the rippling reflection of Human Nature in a cold and vast lake. I wanted it to be a huge historical chronicle, an epic portrait of the Russian soul. It was going to be a complete picture of the complexities of the Human Experience, and an affirmation of Life itself.

It was going to be an astonishing piece of art. It was going to be a tragedy that would strike a chord in the heart of all of mankind.

I thought it was a top idea, but my agent said I should forget it and instead start thinking about an autobiography - and you know, that made much more sense.

Who wants to read about the lives of some boring Russians from hundreds of years ago when they could be reading a roller-coaster of a tale about how a young lad who loved playing football dragged himself off the means streets of the Leeds suburbs to make it as a top Premier League footballer and a four-year £25k-a-week contract.

It's a no-brainer. My story wins every time.

And the real beauty of it all? I don't even have to pick up a pen - my agent says he can get in something called a ghost writer to do most of the hard work for me.

Expect "You Can Ring My Bell: The Pharrell Bell Story" to be in the shops just in time for Christmas.

Until next week,

PB