The Euro2012 tournament has been a terrific sports spectacle, enhanced by the superb announcing of the ESPN broadcast teams led by Ian Darke and Steve McManaman. However, my fantasy results through June 17 are as pathetic as the Netherlands.
I began the competition by naming Szczesny as my goalkeeper. First game, Double-Z got himself a red card.
I opened the tournament with Van Persie and he only got me two points. I then came back with Ronaldo in the second game and he returned a deuce. I also went with the gyros, Salpingidis at forward in the second game and he got only three. Not pleased with Ronnie, I dropped him for the third game and he scored a brace today and returned 11 points.
Schweinsteiger’s second game saw him notch two assists, so I went with him today. The return? 3 lousy points.
I decided against Lahm in the first game and he got a clean sheet and six points. So I brought him into my lineup today and he returned a miserable trey.
Van Persie was in my XI in the first game and after only getting three, I dropped him for the second game, which, he scored a goal and got 7 points.
The only player I lucked out on was Pilar who I put in by mistake for his second game. He got a goal and delivered nine points. I left him in Saturday and he returned four points.
Arjen Robben’s two-match performance was so pathetic (a Robin Red Breast could not have done worse), I dropped the Dutchie today and he managed an assist and got six points.
I still have seven players looking for points before the current round of games are over, three Spaniards, two Frenchmen, one Italian, and one Englishman. With my luck one or two will get a red card and give up a couple of own goals.
I reek 7th in a nine-team private league and 10th in the 12 team ESPN “Experts” league. At 100 points I rank in the 25th percentile worldwide, which is almost as bad as my GPA in college.
To quote Salieri in the movie Amadeus, “I speak for all mediocrities in the world. I am their champion. I am their patron saint.”
August 18 cannot come fast enough.