Thank goodness the international break is over and Premier League action returns this weekend. With Week 12 set to begin on Saturday, Sir John offers dreams of what Premier League (and fantasy) football would look like in a perfect word:
1. Premier League clubs would release their starting lineups the day before matches.
2. Most international and cup matches between September and May would be played during weekdays and Premier League matches would be on Saturdays and Sundays.
3. No Premier League games would be scheduled on Monday or Tuesday.
4. Ian Darke would announce the Premier League game of the week.
5. Anyone other than Martin Tyler would announce all other Premier League games.
6. Howard Webb would be the referee for the Premier League Game of the Week and would not be relegated to holding the substitute and extra time boards.
7. Players would no longer writhe on the pitch with fake injuries.
8. More yellow cards would be issued for diving.
9. Players who score would not take off their jersey.
10. Players who score would not suck their thumb.
11. Vuvuzelas would be banned from every stadium.
12. Managers would never wear shorts.
13. Managers would not be allowed to switch teams during the season.
14. Video technology would be used to verify or disallow goals. Replays on all goals scored in the final two minutes and extra time would be mandatory.