The Sunday papers have all led with the same story this weekend. Arsene Wenger ''kicking the bottle'', ''losing it'' and even attempting to re-enact a scene from Fawlty Towers after being sent off against Manchester United.

The Sunday Mirror have the Frenchman most ''frustrated'' about the Gunners' defeat, especially as it involved a penalty where the goalkeeper brought down a striker [we wondered why the TV cameras kept showing Eduardo sat on the bench].

The same paper think that Wenger is set to make one final attempt to sign Bordeaux striker Marouane Chamakh; but the News of the World think he'll go for a 15-year-old who has been likened to Lionel Messi instead. That ought to give them the edge over United next year...

United, meanwhile, appear to be done in terms of transfer business but that hasn't stopped various tabloids splashing stories about them. The Sunday Mirror seems to think City star midfielder (who has been with the club since age 14) would somehow want to swap Eastlands for Old Trafford.

He's far too busy running up and down hills and learning to channel his negative energy through martial arts for any thoughts about a transfer, say the Mail on Sunday.

Much more likely is Portsmouth's capture of out-of-favour duo Michael Johnson, from City, and Nicky Shorey, from Villa. The People have this nugget and reckon that the pair could arrive on loan as the south coast club struggle for cash.

They will also probably sign Manchester City's Israeli defender Tal Ben Haim as replacement for Sylvain Distin, who has joined Everton.

The News of the World also claim that Pompey will cash in on David James. Not content with Carlo Cudicini, apparently 'Arry Redknapp wants to rebuild his entire FA Cup winning side and bring in the ageing 'keeper too.

The Sunday Express know that Richard Dunne is on his way to Villa, but they claim that it was only because City paid out a £6m fee to the defender (to cover the cost of the testimonial that he would have had) that the deal went through. Quite a gesture if true.

Another gesture comes from Chelsea as they have apparently given captain John Terry a new deal worth £40m, with the England man picking up £160,000 a week. That's in the NOTW.

Meanwhile, while there are stories that an American consortium is closing in on a deal to buy Newcastle United and they are set to restore Geordie legend Alan Shearer to the manager's office, Jose Enrique reckons that the club are ''crazy'' and not even Jose Mourinho (who loves a challenge) would want to come and manage them.