Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse for Newcastle news reaches us this morning that Bryan Robson - to management what Bernie Madoff is to banking - is being lined up to takeover from Joe Kinnear.

With Kinnear facing heart bypass surgery his Toon tenure is effectively over, opening the way for Newcastle to pull another name out of their comedy time vortex. First there was Denis Wise, then Joe Kinnear and now, according to The Express, Robson is next.

It would be an incredible appointment, not least because it appeared that Robbo had drawn a line under his distinctly mediocre managerial career by taking up a low-pressure ambassadorial role with Manchester Untied, where his legend status ensures his managerial under-achievements are irrelevant.

Toon fans will no doubt be remembering (with a shudder) Robson's spell at local rivals Boro where Terry Venables was called in to bail him out of right old mess. Well, Terry could be back, and possibly reprising his double act with Robbo, with The Guardian reporting that El Tel is in the frame to replace Kinnear.

But it's not all bad news for Newcastle, the club's top brass have told The Telegraph that Wise will not be donning his tracksuit and returning to the touchline to help the club avoid relegation.

Elsewhere in the UK papers there is plenty of rumour, conjecture and wibble relating to Chelsea; nothing new there, then.

The most interesting story, which appears in The Telegraph, The Daily Mail and The Guardian says that Guus Hiddink is going to be getting together with his predecessor Luis Felipe Scolari to quiz him on the cliques, factions and divisions that spelt doom for his time at the club.

Presumably Guus will meet Felipe in swanky London hotel, possibly with a box of the Brazilian's belongings which he left behind in what is now the Dutchman's office. In his column in The Sun Harry Redknapp reckons Guus will be staying at Chelsea beyond the end of the season. Harry being quite the expert on seeing things through...

The Independent claim that it's not all sweetness and light at the Russian FA, with some senior figures said to be less than happy at Hiddink's dual role. Their understandable worry being that Russia's World Cup hopes for 2010 will be hindered by Guus' time in London.

Someone else who might soon be handed a box of belongings could be Chelsea chief exec Peter Kenyon. The Guardian report that the pressure is mounting as his role in Scolari's ill-fated installation comes under scrutiny.

The Sun also report that Roman Abramovich has got his sights set on snaring Carlo Ancelotti at the end of the season; perhaps by then Carlo will have tired of the media circus that surrounds Mr Beckham and will be looking for an out.

On the subject of Milan and Beckham it seems the will-he/ won't-he saga is approaching a conclusion with Major League Soccer commissioner Don Garber demanding the whole sorry mess get sorted in the next 24hours.

Another player who may or may not be on the move is Liverpool's Daniel Agger, with The Guardian reporting that the Danish defender has issued an ultimatum - play me or I'll quit; very dramatic.

And finally, midfielder Niko Kranjcar has revealed to The Mirror that he wants to quit Portsmouth to join a bigger club. Niko clearly not relishing the potentially imminent arrival of under-fire Mexico boss Sven Goran Eriksson.

The Mirror say Sven is keen on a return to the Premier League, while The Star seems to think the Swede is prepared to tough it out with El Tri, despite defeat to the USA last night.