With the owners seeking to refinance their loans by way of a bond issue – and seeing it advertised in Monday's FT was a bit like finding the Queen begging on a street corner - the law insists that they provide full details of the club's financial position, revealing for the first time the true horror of United's predicament. Now that I've disinfected my eyeballs, this is what we've learnt:
Cash is required very, very badly; as Roy Walker might say, it's time for the ready money round. Despite winning a third consecutive league title and reaching a second successive European Cup final, were it not for the sale of Ronaldo, United would have operated at a loss during the last year; even if the player had wanted to stay, the debt would have insisted he be sold anyway.
In a similar vein, although the new sponsorship deal with Aon doesn't begin until the summer, £36 million of the £80 million fee has already been drawn down - and not to provide Fergie with the funds to strengthen the squad, even though the prospectus acknowledges that continued on-pitch success is essential. However £22.9 million has been paid out in “loans” and “management fees” - or in other words, for make benefit great nation of Glazerstan. Not only are supporters funding their ownership of the club, but their lifestyle too.
Plans are also outlined for the sale and leaseback of United's training ground or as the prospectus calls it, the “Carrington Transaction”.
Mooted as simply a possibility, that it's a defined term tells you it's near enough a certainty, and once the bond deal is done, will be completed faster than you can say Malcolm Glazer - and certainly faster than he can say it. In an act of stunningly legal larceny, the family will transfer ownership of the complex from United to one of their other companies, mortgage it, and then charge the club rent for the privilege of its use. The funds from this new revenue stream can then be directed towards the “Payment In Kind” loans – debt for which the Glazers are personally liable – or to pay down the senior debt that's secured against the assets of the club. Were they to settle on the second option, the “Old Trafford Transaction” becomes little more than a matter of time.
But really, I'm an overreacting no-nothing crank. There's no gain for the Glazers in running United into the ground, and Fergie says everything's ok, so it must be, right?
In the circumstances, talking about the part of football that's only a game seems ridiculous, despite the nauseous reality that this season is as good as it's likely to get for some time. I'd hoped that we'd manage to eke out a 19th title to sustain us through the upcoming lean period, but for the first time in a while, it looks like it may be beyond us; how very lucky that Liverpool chose last season rather than this to string a few results together.
It isn't even that the squad isn't good enough – the miserable quality of the best sides in the division means that this one could get the job done – but it's no longer good enough to win whoever happens to be picked, and 101 games have now passed since the same eleven started consecutive games. Fergie, for reasons known to himself alone, finds this both clever and amusing, but then he also thinks that United's first-half display against Birmingham was “brilliant”.
They did start like they meant it, but as has happened almost every time they've come up against a well-organised team, and despite the pretty possession, scoring has been a problem. The configuration of the team didn't help, but this was more a matter of intention than formation; 4-5-1 isn't conservative per se, but demands attacking midfielders and proper wingers.
Instead, we got a central triumvirate with five goals and four assists between them, along with Park who has neither of either. Presumably selected for the purported defensive abilities that were unsurprisingly absent in the joke that was Birmingham's goal, it provided sure evidence that United had come to win 1-0, augmented by his replacement with Giggs when a winning goal was required. That he played from the right, with Valencia on the left, was baffling, putting two of the most one-footed players I've ever seen on the wrong sides, narrowing a pitch that needed the opposite. An honourable mention to Valencia nonetheless, who battled hard and has stood out over the last month or so – too bad that he's not good enough to get it done on his own.
As United chased the game, what was most frustratingly evident was how much Van der Sar was missed, and not just for his reliability. With one midfielder sent off and another substituted, they had less of the ball than usual, so needed to make the most of it once they got it.
But each time a Birmingham attack broke down, Kusczak was capable only of belting it out of play or straight back to them, and at no point was there a feeling of impending goal.
Perhaps the most notable episode of the afternoon came at half-time, the sudden outbreak of police thuggery receiving not a single column inch of coverage – unlike the complete non-event that was Barnsley Baltigate. With five minutes to go until the restart, things were proceeding as normal - general boisterousness, no hint of trouble – when from nowhere, a mob of police in full riot gear appeared, shoving people out of the way and forming a line down the middle of the concourse.
A crowd of around 200 massed around them, and some beer was thrown – commonplace regardless of whether police are there or not, as anyone whose job it is to know should have known – at which point a goodly portion of the officers on duty began whacking anyone who had the misfortune to be pushed into them. Several appeared to have misunderstood the meaning of the word “shield” - I saw one in particular use his to knock someone to the ground as he walked on by, before kicking him twice as he lay prone on the floor. Others chose to use their cute little mini-batons, leaving some bleeding profusely from head wounds – again, not those seeking a fight.
A chat with the Football Supporters Federation revealed that supporters of both West Ham and Chelsea have reported problems with West Midlands Police in recent weeks, some of whose number were as incredulous as I was as to what was going on; had they not been there, no trouble would have ensued, and had they left when it started to go wrong, things would have quietened immediately. Instead, they escalated matters by calling for reinforcements, many of whom were clearly relishing the violence.
Although I'm thankful to them for facilitating a brilliant goon and tumble down the stairs when the United goal went in - restoring some faith in a match-going experience that had taken yet another hit pre-match when someone complained to me that he'd been unable to wash his hands after using the toilet - it'd be nice to know what it was all about, as it would be for those involved to be suitably punished.
If there was little cheer around this week, there's still plenty of scope for things to get worse; whatever happens at home to Burnley, a midweek defeat to City would be unpleasantness incarnate. The players owe us a performance in that one, not just because they lost to Leeds, but for tempering the heartiness with which we can guffaw at Liverpool. That said, even the most intense laughter wouldn't have made things very much better - as City fans are painfully aware, defining your existence by the failings of others is no existence at all.
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