I’d wondered what I might say this week with no United game, but I should have known better – there’s almost always something. This time, it was accusations from Fiorentina and Le Havre that United have acted outside of the rules in attempting to sign their players.

There followed a characteristic piece of meaningless posturing from David Gill, this time threatening to sue Le Havre for having the temerity to “insult” United. A world in which that were illegal would be a very sad place indeed, although it would at least have saved me from the choruses of “Man United are short-sighted” that soundtracked my childhood.

Anyway, so far, so playground. And to underline quite what a trifling, piffling little matter this is, Gill went on to inform us that he’s “very comfortable” with the situation. Borrowing his phrasing from Peter Mandelson, another renowned bundle of honesty, the formulation is typically used to reassure silly old us that there’s no need to be alarmed by the utter state the country is in. In a few months, once things have worsened, he’ll no doubt have progressed to feeling “extremely relaxed”.

Back to the matter at hand, without more of the facts, there’s no real point in speculating as to whom, if anyone, is in the right. It is, however, worth noting that when people have a legitimate cause of action, usually they just get on with it - especially when we’re talking about the Glazers. Or perhaps it’s all a cost-cutting ruse, seeking to provoke a ban on incoming transfers.

Other issuers of idle threats include Sam Allardyce and Harry Rednkapp. Accused by the BBC of transfer impropriety, they have remained curiously silent after publicising their intention to sue for defamation. As Marlo Stanfield, the king of direct action would say, “either do it or don’t”.

If nothing else, we can thank the controversy for giving us the opportunity to be lectured in morality by Sepp Blatter, one of those rare jokes that will never cease to be hilarious. That aside, it’s interesting that in all the pontificating, no one has stopped to wonder what might be best for the players. It’s hard to imagine that Cesc Fabregas – who moved to England at 16 – would have been better served playing in Barcelona’s youth and reserve teams than featuring regularly in Arsenal’s first eleven. Similarly, Ronaldo came to England at 18, and that went alright too.

That’s not to say there isn’t something very distasteful about going round the world collecting kids like Mia Farrow on speed, and without doubt, some sort of regulation is required. But it’s also as important to protect the right of young players to decide where they live and play, as it is not to preclude them from developing their game in the best possible environment. Otherwise, some will have to watch as their contemporaries improve faster than they are able, purely as a result of being born in the right place.

One imperfect solution to the problem might be to stipulate a number of first team games that players aged, say, 16-19, have to play, meaning that clubs could only buy those they planned to use in the immediate future. That would still rob some of the chance to learn from top players, but the pay-off would be regular first-team football.

What might also help would be for players to be represented by lawyers, not agents – skilled in negotiating contracts and easily capable of widening their expertise to encompass this specific area. Paid a retainer not a percentage, they would have far less scope for the parasitic exploitation of someone else’s ability, and are bound by a professional code to act in their clients’ best interests - one that isn’t often broken at the highest level.

On to Saturday’s game at Spurs and, as last year, Haringey Council have insisted the away ticket allocation be reduced, due to persistent standing of supporters. One might have thought that they had other more pressing issues to concern themselves with, but evidently not. United remain the only club thus singled out, despite plenty of others – including home fans - doing so too. I wonder if it would be the same were the game not a guaranteed sell-out.

Not that that’s really the point; it’s long since been proved that it’s more dangerous for lots of people to stand suddenly than for everyone to remain standing throughout. Nevertheless, the FA remain steadfast in an intransigence that I’ve never heard accompanied by reasoned, factual argument, nor from the mouth of someone who pays for tickets and sits with the hoi polloi.

Much as they’d hate to admit it, there’s a lot the FA could learn from their German counterparts. Several Bundesliga grounds incorporate large, safe terraces, on which it’s also possible to buy a beer, and the success of their league is no coincidence. Prices are low, attendances are high, atmospheres are excellent and the league is competitive. Doesn’t that sound absolutely rubbish? I too see no rationale whatsoever for imitating their set-up.

Looking forward to the game itself, the question bothering most United fans is the Evra-Lennon contest. Despite a running style that suggests he’s about to trip over his arms at any moment, he’s about the only player to regularly get the better of Mad Paddy. There’s not much Fergie can do about it either, beyond picking Park to play in front of him - never something to get excited about. Where’s Mark Chapman when you need him?

Couple of other things I wanted to mention. I was watching the Depor-Madrid game last week, and although I think I noticed this last season too, I now have a blog on which to draw attention to it. Anyway, as a result of playing in the same side as Mahamadou Diarra, the identically-surnamed Lassana has ignored the convention of adding his first initial to the back of his shirt, opting instead for the (probably self-awarded) nickname of “Lass”.

Leaving aside the smugness of it all, is this a choice open to everyone, or are there rules? What happens when 362 players in the English leagues want their kit to say Trigger? What if Park decides he wants “Ji-Spot” on his?

Finally, just space for a quick snigger at John Terry. As part of ITV’s coverage of England games, the starting line-up is revealed via pre-recorded footage, in which each player selected introduces himself by name and position. Terry, it appears, doesn’t play centre back but captain, once again showing the humility and self-awareness that have made him such a hero.

Then, after the game, he revealed that he’d been spat at by Croatian substitute Ivan Klasnic, drawing attention to it for no discernable reason other than to reflect his own understated stoicism.

“Their No17 spat at me. It’s not a nice reaction. He came on frustrated, but it’s not nice at all. He’s the first person who’s ever spat at me in my career. It’s disappointing to see, but let’s not let it ruin a massive night”.

Yes, John, without your little pep talk, everything would have been spoilt for everyone. Oh John, you are so big. So absolutely huge. You are just so strong and, well, just so super. That’s why you’re father of the year.