Real Madrid must be "prepared to do crazy things" in order to make playmaker Franck Ribery the next galactico to join Real Madrid; that was the warning from Bayern Munich general manager Uli Hoenes on Friday.

Quite what constitutes "crazy things" as far as Hoeness is concerned wasn’t clarified, but we can only assume he means tabling an exorbitant cash offer rather than juggling goldfish or foregoing trousers for a month.

Elsewhere, in the crazy, often imaginary world of summer transfer rumour, confusion reigns supreme in the case of Napoli striker Ezequiel Lavezzi.

All week there’s been claim and counter claim over Liverpool making a request to meet with the player. Various agents, advisors and club officials have said a variety of things, even Liverpool got involved with Rafa Benitez insisting the club has made no enquiry or offer.

But still the wibble continues with Lavezzi’s agent restating his conviction that Liverpool have made contact. It seems that somewhere someone’s lying. So we'll have to get involved: Boys it’s not big and it’s not clever, stop it or you’ll get no supper.

Anyway, it might be just as well Lavezzi doesn’t go to Liverpool, he’d soon tire of Scouse scallies quoting Samuel L. Jackson’s Ezequiel 25:17 line from Pulp Fiction at him at every given opportunity.

Next: Good news for Arsenal fans, well, as long as you’re a fan of goalkeeper Lukasz Fabianski. The 24-year-old Pole has signed a new deal keeping him at Emirates Stadium for the foreseeable.

He made 18 first-team appearances in all competitions last term and kept nine clean sheets. Not bad.

Middlesbrough have insisted that home-grown and actually-quite-good defender David Wheater is not for sale... unless a good offer comes in.

The player has said he wants to stay but having been relegated Boro might think that the £6m plus Marlon Harewood bid Aston Villa are reportedly preparing, is too good to turn down.

Back in Italy and Jose Mourinho has played down reports that Barcelona's top target Zlatan Ibrahimovic will be leaving Inter Milan.

The Special One was clearly in clairvoyant mood when he said: "It's a conviction of mine. No-one has told me anything, it's just a feeling I have."

And finally, Wigan Athletic have confirmed that Manchester United have made enquiries over their £15m-rated winger Antonio Valencia.

Wigan chairman DAve Whelan expects to receive an offer for the Ecuadorian within days and is hoping to get as much as possible of the £80m United will receive for Ronaldo’s move to Real Madrid.