And you thought you'd heard it all with Carlton Cole and Dirk Kuyt linked to Juventus? Well the world's best clubs are obviously scraping the barrel as Julian Faubert has moved to Real Madrid.

The 'versatile' Frenchman is apparently the answer to Madrid's right-sided dilemma and can be picked up for about 100-times less than a certain Cristiano Ronaldo, and might yet vie for the prestigious 'most injured player at the Bernabeu' award with Arjen Robben.

Soccernet has the story, but we can't quite believe it.

Who wants to pay £18m for Antonio Valencia? If Real Madrid aren't willing to, then Sir Alex Ferguson surely is. And the Daily Mirror think that Wigan will be perfectly happy to let them steal away their last hope of getting into Europe. Doesn't bode well for Nani though.

Surprise, surprise, Tottenham are still kicking around with a few irons in the fire. Arry wants a new striker to replace the crocked Jermain Defoe and it could just be.. hold your breath.. Robbie Keane!

Everyone thinks Keane should move back, apart from the player himself. While, in a hilarious, turning of the tables, Liverpool are to report Tottenham for THEIR interest in Keane, say the Daily Telegraph.

The Mirror think that Darren 'My missus could have scored that one' Bent, will be out on his ear before long and Everton have made a very cheeky loan offer for him. Spurs, of course, are rather more keen to recoup as much of the £16.5m wasted on him as possible.

The Sun says the Toffeemen are also keen to tie up a deal for Ghanaian striker Asamoah Gyan, although may be put off by an £8m price tag. Try and get him on loan? Ok Mr Moyes, we'll try our hardest, but we can only get him if that pesky Harry Redknapp stays away.

Last of the Tottenham talk (I promise), Giovani Dos Santos' White Hart Lane career also appears to be over, say the Sun. 'Arry is obviously so enamoured with the previous transfer policy that he's shaking things up as quickly as possible. If Portsmouth are willing to pay £7m for the Mexican, he should take it.

Bolton are the other major gossip mongers on Saturday, with a Kevin Nolan shaped hole still needing filling at the Reebook.

The Sun say that Sean Davis will be the next Pompey player to get out of Dodge and wander across to the Trotters. While the Guardian have scratched their heads, done their maths and come up with the news that the club are willing to pay as much as £14m for Sporting's Miguel Veloso - who will still need persuading.

Portsmouth are keen to take 19-year-old Daniel Sturridge away from Eastlands before a host of world stars force him to rot in the reserves. The Daily Mail say Tony Adams is thinking about a bid, but he'd better hurry up.

Finally, Sunderland are still reeling from El Hadji Diouf's parting 'stab' at Anton Ferdinand, but they'll pick themselves up and dust themselves off to put in bids for Liverpool defender Sami Hyypia and Manchester City's Tal Ben-Haim.

The Times bring us that lovely story, but then go and undo all their hard work by claiming that City are still sniffing around Chelsea skipper John Terry. While the club might be able to persuade Shay Given to join their relegation battle, they'll have a harder time getting JT on board. Although it might be fun to watch them try.