Â£900K, signed by Ruud Gullit from NAC Breda
Maybe a bit harsh since he cost under a million, but we have been lucky with goalkeepers over the years. John Careless had a bit of a 'mare in his debut vs Southampton shipping in 4 goals. Our disastrous start to the season continued and after a few games we never heard from him again.
THE BACK FOUR
Â£4.5m, signed by Kenny Dalglish from Internazionale
Played: 46 (1 goal)
Pistone had a lot of ability but little heart, as was allegedly acknowledged at a team Christmas party when a team mate gave him a sheeps heart in the Secret Santa. He made a decent start to life at NUFC, but never progressed and was loaned out before permanently making a move to Everton.
Â£4m, signed by Ruud Gullit from PSG
Played: 55 (3 goals including 1 v the mackems)
Another young player who looked the part at first only to never quite progress. Possibly a case of poor handling, he complained of homesickness and ended up going back to PSG before coming back to England on loan at Leeds.
Â£5.8m, signed by Ruud Gullit from Real Mallorca
The first of my our truly woeful players in this team. Marcelino had looked pretty good in a Mallorca team who were promoted to La Liga, finished 5th in their first season and made the final of the European Cup Winners Cup in their second. However at Newcastle he was absolutely shocking. Almost constantly injured (including several months out with an injured finger) Marcelino never settled. My main memory of him (other than often seeing him on the Quayside) was of him attempting to header clear a long ball - the ball bounced up as he bent forwards and it hit him in the face.
Jean Alain Boumsong
Â£8m, signed by Graeme Souness from Rangers a few months after they signed him on a free and at a time when they really needed the money..... (though not as much as they do now)
I saw him play at Highbury in one of his first (if not his first) games. He looked excellent. He wasn't. To be fair to Mr Boumsong he did play alongside Titus Bramble quite often, but he was just woeful. Big, powerful and fairly quick, he had all of what he required to be a success other than actual footballing ability. He was often caught out and looked clumsy most of the time. One of the worst signings in the history of our football club. Thanks Souness.
Â£4.5m, signed by Sir Bobby Robson fom Velez Sarsfield
Played: 24 (1 goal)
Bassedas picked up a broken bone in his foot in a pre season game. This left him out of the picture for a while and when he finally got a run out he never really got going. He failed to adapt to life in the Premier League and departed after only 24 games.
Â£4m, signed by Ruud Gullit from Croatia Zagreb
Many of us were quite excited by the prospect of signing Maric. Rumours were that he was a firm fan-favourite in his homeland and was a bit of a footballer. Either the Croatian league was absolutely abysmal at the time or the rumours were invented to maximise a transfer fee. He was very poor and he also struggled to cope with the pace and physical nature of the game.
Â£8m, signed by Sir Bobby Robson from Sporting Lisbon
Played: 39 (2 goals)
Hugo should have been a banker of a signing having just won European U21 Footballer of the Year, but the transfer was further proof that there are no guarantees in the game. He showed some class at times but he wasn't the quickest. He didn't like a tackle either and appeared not to enjoy himself too much. He scores poorly on investment vs return.
Â£10.5m, signed by Graeme Souness from Deportivo (yes, that is about Â£19,000,000 Souness spent on Luque and Boumsong)
Played: 21 (3 goals, 1 in the league which was against the mackems in a 4 v 1 rout at their place)
TEN. MILLION. POUNDS. How? Perhaps Shepherd and Souness scouted him on YouTube on which he looked very good. He cost about Â£10.4m more than his true worth. He went off to Ajax on loan and had a bit of a fight with Suarez, which is understandable.
Â£5.7m, signed by Dennis Wise from Deportivo
Played: 9 (1 goal)
Some supporters could argue that Xisco has never really been given a chance at the club and there may be some truth in that, though when he has turned out he has been poor. Deportivo have taken us to the cleaners over the years and that is where Xisco currently resides on loan, though he hardly ever features as he is usually injured
Â£10.2m, signed by Glenn Roeder from Internazionale
Played: 88 (28 goals)
I already know that some of you will disagree with this selection. Oba has quite a few fans out there, me included, but the fact is that he cost an awful lot of money, was inconsistent and played a part in the relegation season. Some of his goals were spectacular - not least the goal at Spurs, but he was never a Â£10m player as he has proven since drifting from club to club and always under delivering.
Andreas Andersson, Sweden, Â£3m from AC Milan signed by Dalglish
Stephane Guivarc'h, France, Â£4.5m from Auxerre signed by Dalglish
David Rozehnal, Czech Republic, Â£3m from PSG signed by Allardyce
So that first XI cost a grand total of over Â£65,000,000, or Â£175,940 per appearance not including wages. Well over Â£1,600,000 per goal scored.
Compare that to the combined total of approximately Â£31m spent on the starting XI who beat Manchester united 3 v 0 this season.....
I have a nagging feeling that I have left a high profile player or two out of this side - perhaps you could remind me?