It is far too early in the season for a Tyne/ Wear derby and a trip down to the darklands. For starters we still haven't signed our new, big money superstar striker that the boss promised us 200 or so days ago!
We don't even have a senior left back on our books - but don't let all of that concern you - I'm sure both positions will have been adequately filled by the time the transfer window closes *cough splutter*
Of the new boys who played in our season opener against Arsenal last week, Gabriel Obertan was the most impressive. He showed an exceptional turn of pace and played a couple of lovely short passes - he may well find himself with a starting place.
Cabaye looked neat and tidy, though he looked exhausted by the time he came off! Demba Ba was anonymous and looked totally out of sorts - though I am convinced we will see big things from him if he can stay fit. I still don't know if his withdrawal at half time was tactical or injury enforced.
The mackems have brought in a few new players of their own. Presumably at the request of their shirt sponsor, Tombola online bingo, they signed a couple of elderly folk from Manchester United. They also signed a teenage striker for a fee that equates to Â£615,385 for each of the goals he managed in his two years in the Championship. Add a few relegated midfielders into the equation and they have themselves a team.
Am I confident? We have a phenomenal record down there and were very unlucky to only come away with a solitary point last season. Pardew has asked us not to expect too much from the first few games as the new boys settle, but they have brought in more than us so I'm hoping he has a more confident approach in the dressing room!
If Tiote overcomes the knock that he picked up vs Arsenal we could boss the midfield. Mackem slayer Shola Ameobi will be looking to add to his excellent derby goalscoring tally.
Assuming that he starts at left back, who would back against Ryan Taylor lashing in a free kick? Our defenders love scoring down there. Marveaux could also feature after coming through a practice game vs Gateshead on Wednesday.
There won't be too many changes to the starting XI from the Arsenal game: Krul, Simpson, R Taylor, S Taylor, Coloccini, Gutierrez, Barton, Cabaye, Tiote, Ameobi, Ba/ Obertan - that's not a bad side.
Joey will once again be in for a torrid afternoon both on the pitch and from the terraces - he will do well to keep his head down and do what he does best after the shenanigans of the past seven days!
Howard Webb will be in charge and this will be his third Tyne/ Wear derby game.
I find it amazing that one of the most intense derby games in football has no live TV coverage in the UK for the second year running!
Follow me on Twitter @MarcSDuffy
Follow ESPNsoccernet's Football Correspondents on Twitter