BREAKING NEWS (BEST NEWS EVER)
ALAN SHEARER IS NOW NEWCASTLE MANAGER!
Yes, that is correct, not an April Fools! Big Al is now the boss till at least the end of the season to see us through our remaining eight games of the season. Realistically speaking, he has no experience in management and very little time to put our season right, but if the Geordie legend's arrival doesn't lift the players, then nothing will. I am ecstatic and can hardly hide my excitement at the thought of my boyhood hero sitting in the dugout at St. James', regardless of how well he does. At the end of the day, he has nothing to lose, and will be backed 200 million per cent by the geordie fans.
I am shocked that he has joined under our current regime, but I suspect that his passion for the club was simply so great that he could not turn it down. The thought of his beloved club in this sorry state was eating away at him, like it has been for every Newcastle supporter throughout the land, and so he has jumped on board our sinking ship in a last-ditch attempt to pull us up and away from the sespit of disaster we now find ourselves in. He is a God on Tyneside and he can do no wrong. He will be supported no matter what happens between now and the end of the season, and every fan will, and should, just be grateful that he is back home.
All I have left to say for now (I am gobsmacked!) is Good Luck Alan, and a big THANK YOU! No matter what, every true fan will appreciate this much needed help in such desperate and unfortunate circumstances and with any luck, this news will give the players the encouragement and motivation that they desperately need in these important last few matches.
SHEARER! SHEARER! SHEARER!
(One last thing, cheers for all the comments and feedback people. It's absolutely fantastic to know that we have supporters from all over the world that genuinely care about the club as much as those who live in geordieland, really brilliant, so thanks again!)