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Posted by Matteo Bonetti on 05/11/2011

Over this past weekend, the Rossoneri were able to snatch up Scudetto #18 following a 0-0 draw against Roma. While the party after the final whistle showcased some of the finest moments in the history of unintentional comedy, the squad proved to have the necessary firepower to dominate Serie A this season.

If we're referring to trophies as silverware, then Berlusconi just won a spoon. The Coppa Italia could be viewed as a napkin while the Champions League is the entire plate. The Milan Owner has made it very clear that Milan will replicate their domestic form in Europe next year. Some pieces are needed if this dream would come to fruition.

While a chance for an orgasmic Milan-Inter final in the Coppa Italia was squandered against Palermo, Milanisti all over the world can take pride in knowing that Scudetto #18 is in the books. The next few games of the Serie A season will most likely feature the entrance of ball-boys & team masseuses into the starting line-up, such as Oduamadi & Sokratis. Ideally, I'd love to see Didac Vila given some time to show if he's ready or not. It perplexes me how a player who was a starter for Espanyol in La Liga cannot even get one minute of action so far with Milan. It's not like we bought a mystery player from the second division in Burkina Faso.

The brilliant golden Scudetto emblem will be pried from the gnarled hands of Moratti & Inter, and be placed in its natural habitat - a Milan jersey. While Milan have just tied Inter at 18 (if you count the two Inter were given as a result of Calciopoly) there's still plenty of trophies to be won if they want to match the 27 that Juventus have accumulated over the years.


The Milan Squad Celebrates Scudetto #18 ©AP

Winning the Scudetto produced numerous moments of comic brilliance by the Rossoneri players. Let's take a closer look at the three moments that have been replayed countless times since the weekend

Comedy Bit #1: Antonio Cassano gets kicked in the head by Zlatan Ibrahimovic during a post-match interview. Kicking Cassano in the head must have produced a hollow sound, since it's 99% empty unless you count a droplet of nutella residing somewhere around the lower cerebellum.

Comedy Bit #2: A drunk Massimo Oddo runs a lap around the Olimpico with shaving cream on his head. This video could go down as one of the highlights of my entire life, as Massimo Oddo just shattered the unintentional comedy scale. Galliani bet Oddo that if he ran the track in less than a minute, he'd get a contract extension. Inexplicably, Massimo ran it in a blistering 48 seconds. Needless to say, Massimo was a few seconds shy of breaking Usain Bolt's landspeed record.. Instead of celebrating by doing Bolt's famous lightning strike, Oddo booted one of his signature crosses into the top deck of the Olimpico, and managed to decapitate an Ultra.

Comedy Bit #3: Gattuso chants with the Milan Ultras: "Leonardo Uomo Di Merda." Rough translation: Leonardo is a sh*t of a human." When he's not headbutting assistant coaches or eating tree bark for breakfast, Rino becomes the dream of Ultras by inciting them to continue their anti-Leo chants. Do I condone this type of behaviour from Rino? Absolutely not. Did I chuckle when I first saw it? Absolutely. Gattuso has come out himself to say that if he could go back in time he wouldn't have done it, and urges everyone to realize he was joking.

Random Notes:

- With the Scudetto won and the Coppa Italia/Champions out of reach, we can now focus our attention to the summer transfer market - a period where sensationalist posts will link Milan to everyone from Andrea Gasbarroni to Barack Obama. What we do know so far is the following:

Fact 1. Phillippe Mexes has been acquired from Roma on a free, and will provide a suitable replacement for Silva or Nesta if they go down to injury or suspension.
Fact 2. Taye Taiwo has been acquired from Marseille and will most likely be the starting left back next year.
Fact 3. Antonio Cassano is consuming a nutella crêpe as I write this.

Everything else is just speculation. Including Ganso, and every other superstar linked to Milan.

It has been an emotional year of highs and lows for us Milanisti. A heart wrenching exit against Tottenham, watching Pato hook up with Berlusconi's daughter, and seeing Allegri being thrown into the air after winning the Scudetto. This has been one of the most exciting seasons in recent times, and has become the foundation for a new generation of players and a new era of Milan being thrust back into the upper echelons of the footballing world. Berlusconi has sworn to fans that he will purchase one or two superstars this season. Next year Milan will come out as one of the favourites to win a Champions League title. On this note, it has been fantastic to cover a second season of Milan for ESPN Soccernet year and I plan to be back next year for a third; so yes - you will all have to put up with my jokes for another year.. I will be updating this site regarding transfers throughout the summer so keep checking back as always. Thanks for all the comments this season and also for helping me get to 5,000 followers on Twitter and supporting the launch of my new website. Ricordiamoci questo - Milano Siamo noi!

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Comments

Posted by @jydough on 05/11/2011

Dude, you're simply hilarious... "kickin cassano in the head will have produced a hollow sound since it's 99% empty unless u count a droplet o' nutella residing somewhere in his lower cerebellum"... That had me really cracked up. It's true that the thought o' doing the double and beating Intergentina 3times in a season woulda been totally orgasmic but the thought of #18 always puts a huge smile on my face. Great articles all season and i expect to see more o' that next season. Big ups to you. And yea, hope u're gon watch as we send the old Celts outta the playoffs. #ForzaMilan #TeamHeatles

Posted by David on 05/11/2011

Great stuff, Matteo. The bit on Oddo and his lap around the Olimpico was priceless. Been a joy reading your articles here on espnsoccernet. Anyone who hasn't checked out his new website should definitely do so now at themilanguy.com. Forza Milan!

Posted by Milan 1987 on 05/11/2011

CAMPIONI D' ITALIA! We are the champions and how sweet it is to take it off Inter just like it was sweet to take it off Juve in 2004.We have plenty to do if we want to win the CL but Galliani has already started brilliantly with Mexes&Taiwo improving an already solid defense. An attacking midfielder like Ganso will just push us forward even more. Matteo can you please tell if it is true that our Legend Pirlo has signed for Juve? If that is true I now consider him a TRAITOR!

Posted by Ryan Walsh on 05/11/2011

Great article as always. It certainly has been a great season in which we clinched our 18th Scudetto. My low point this season would have to be the poor showing at home to spurs in cl, which knocked us out. High point would obviously be the Scudetto, but also doin' the double over inter was sweet. Let's hope it's an exciting summer and maybe we will strengthen the squad enough for an assault on the cl next season! Froza Milan!

Posted by metrobug on 05/12/2011

Great Article as always...you cracked me up 2 man keep on writing for goodness sake and im looking forward to more of your great articles...Forza Milan

Posted by annalisa on 05/12/2011

Great article!
I've been watching the celebration videos over & over. They kill me. Especially drunk Oddo running around l'Olimpico wearing Rino's shorts. Another one of my fave's is this one of Cassano: http://tiny.cc/wp6gt. Classic!

Posted by ar_milan on 05/12/2011

Well done! The Oddo and the nutella crêpe parts killed me!!

Posted by Landon Shively on 05/12/2011

Do you think Ibra should have been given a penalty on 90+5?

Forza Milan!!!!!

Posted by danny on 05/12/2011

Matteo troppo forte I don't think I ever got past fact 3. Great job.

Posted by Trevor on 05/12/2011

Victory !!!!!!!!!!!! Milan are back. We have too much talent now, we should have won this league 3 games ago. The important thing is that it's Won. What Milan has to do now is gel like a team. and secure some youngsters starting regularly. We can do the triple next year. I know it. From Barbados. :)

Posted by Rami on 05/12/2011

Best sports writer man...You make me laugh on twitter and definitely my favourite person to follow. Your articles are awesome as well....

keep it up

Posted by Milan1963 on 05/12/2011

Thanks Matteo for making me laugh everytime I read your articles and thank you for this wonderful blog where we can exchange views with fellows Milan fans who happen to be educated and knowledgeable people, unlike those we see in other websites. Forza Milan and hoping on an even more succesful new season....

Posted by Milan_Fan on 05/12/2011

Great Article Matteo.
Congrats to all the Milan Fans out there on winning the 18th. I am sure we all hope that this trend continues for a long while.
My only hope is any additional players Milan Managment are planning to acquire this season, do it early. Meaning before the training camp starts. Reason being is that it gives a chance to the new players to digest Allegri's tactics, get to know one another and for the players to gel together and improve the chemistry. This way the team hits the ground running. Waiting until the last day of the transfer market to acquire starting 11 players only prolongs the team to gel together. But hey thats me.
Let me know what you guys think and God Bless the All Mighty Milan.

Posted by Miguel on 05/12/2011

Great blog man, been following u since u started. As for the scudetto, man wat a year huh? I was born n raised in texas, still live here, but a huge Milan fan, i had tears as the minutes were winding down against Roma, just thinkin that the scudetto was coming home. Yes losing against Spurs hurt but at the start of the season the scudetto is wat I really wanted. Been so long since the last one. Now that we got it we can really go after the Champions League and bring that back home too.

Posted by Harsh on 05/13/2011

hey dont go around blaming pirlo if he joins juve - this son of a b**** Allegri isn't giving him a contract extension. It's not like Pirlo wants to join juve - he is being forced to. Why would he even voluntarily do that? He obviously loves Milan and Milan are in much better shape than Juve.

Posted by Harsh on 05/13/2011

Who the f*** does allegri think he is? Who the f*** gave that bastard the right to not extend the contracts of pirlo and seedorf.

These great players have served Milan for nearly a decade and have served the team extremely well.We would not have a third of our glories without these players.

He who has served our team for only one year - what gives him the right to ask these players to go home. Their home is Milan and they should stay at Milan.If anyone should leave it should be Allegri - Can't even beat Tottenham for Chrissake!

Posted by Tijani Taofiki on 05/13/2011

Really............a mix of a footballing year for Milan............FORZA MILAN

Posted by California Milanista on 05/13/2011

As I have said before, Abate impressed the snot out of me this year. Great season for him. Easily most improved - who would be the team MVP?
Matteo it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on "team awards" for the year. MVP, Most Improved, Most disappointing, best young player, etc.

And it was funny to see in the videos that Abate has apparently learned from Gattuso to run around in his undershorts upon celebrating (remember Gattuso after the World Cup?).
Nice to see the lads celebrating - a variety of reactions from the joy and relief on the faces of the veterans to the bewilderment and excitement on the faces of the newer or younger players. And then there is Cassano. A bit wild, eh? Hopefully for him, he comes off his nutella high and gets serious about being in shape for the Azzurri and the 2011/12 Serie A campaign (for Milan or ??)
From California to Milan - celebrate the Rossoneri!

Posted by North-face on 05/14/2011

First of all nice article!

Second, i want to point out to 'Harsh 20' why Pirlo still hasn't been offered a contact extension. If you don't know from next season the FFP( Financial Fair Play) comes in play. If you don't know what that means then go google it.

Milan last year had a Net loss of 8 or 9 million(that includes the sale of KAKA. Since, we haven't had a any major sales this year only way to reduce the net loss is by reducing the wages of players. Pirlo is one of the highest paid players on the squad. hence to get a new contract extension he must decrease his wage bills in
half.

third, its not allegri who gives players contract extension its galliani. I'm sure allegri would love to have pirlo in his squad

Posted by Matteo Bonetti on 05/14/2011

First of all thanks for all the comments and praises.

Second:

@Harsh

Allegri doesn't make the transfer moves.

Posted by Raheem lateef damilola on 05/15/2011

I beleive milan will be stronger than any other team if only the can sign a good and commitment striker.up rossenneri

Posted by punditguy on 05/16/2011

I actually dont mind if Pirlo leaves. Love what the guy did in the past but thats the past! Nest, Ambro and Seedorf should all be given new contracts. They all still have a lot to offer...especially Nesta and Seedorf.

Abate has really improved! He is turning into a fantastic LB. Their are times he would be caught in no mans land but he is improving drastically! Cant wait to see Taiwo.

Burlusconi said he will make 2 or 3 "BIG" name singings this summer. #1 on the agenda is Ganso, i wonder who #2 is. Cant wait to see how the transfers unfold in the coming months! I would still love to see Montelivo in our colors but thats looking unlikely. Sampdoria has hit rock bottom so we can get Palombo and Poli for cheap. Really not to keen on seeing Kaka return. If he does so be it....i just hope he replicates his old form.

I havent felt this relaxed in so long! I got my mojo back thanx to Milan! The one and only! I would rather stop watching football than support another team! FORZA MILAN!!!!

Posted by punditguy on 05/16/2011

Oh yeah...gotta love the Moon Walk Prince did! Glad to see he kept his promise! I wonder if he will keep the other promise? The one where he said he will tattoo the Milan crest on his left arm...

Posted by Hello on 05/18/2011

Goo AC Milan GOOO

Posted by Carlos on 05/18/2011

I agree that Seedorf, Ambro and Nesta should stay because they bring great leadership to the team. I don't think kaka will come but if he comes back he would be welcome. I hope we get Pastore and Ganso to complement the midfield,then I think we will have a competitive team for the champions league, provided we keep the strikers or even bring someone better instead of Cassano.
Matteo, please keep us posted on the transfer market.
Congrats for the blog, it's great!

Posted by Louise on 05/24/2011

Ppl like you get all the brains. I just get to say tahkns for he answer.

Posted by musa Dums on 06/22/2011

There are some player in Milan they are are no more needed the old age player they know their self

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About
Matteo Bonetti Born and raised just a few kilometers away from The San Siro, Matteo Bonetti has been watching the Rossoneri ever since childhood. The passion was instilled by a family whose fanaticism for the team dates back to the early 1900's. Instead of bursting with an obscenity laden tirade, or turning any object around him into a projectile weapon after a disappointing Milan outing, Matteo can now channel his emotions into a more effective, and most importantly: safe, manner - writing on a global platform. He is a young journalist whose grandfather was the Vice President of Milan nearly four decades ago. E-mail him: themilanguy@gmail.com, and follow him on twitter: @TheMilanGuy

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