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AC Milan
June 26, 2012
Posted by Matteo Bonetti on 06/26/2012

They say all good things must come to an end (or in Inter's case: all bad things must never end, but that's neither here nor there).

When ESPN Soccernet gave me the opportunity to run this blog three years ago, my first thought was: how do I avoid getting fired after my first article, and: how much time before an Interista places a bounty over my head? As many of my regular readers know, I haven't shied away from one controversial topic, and I certainly have tried to carry my own personality into the 'blogosphere' as much as possible. Doing this certainly leapfrogged me into the social media scene, got me an added bragging card with the girls, and gave me a speckle of credibility at parties when football conversations became so intense, I was actually worried about receiving a beating so brutal that it would give me a permanent Inter face. But most importantly - I received credits at the University, and it opened the door for many more possibilites. Thank you ESPN Soccernet.

May 10, 2012
Posted by Matteo Bonetti on 05/10/2012

A Sandro Nesta is born once in a blue moon (or once in an Inter Champions League victory if you need a secondary comparison). A class defender who embodied the Milan franchise to perfection, and was an integral figure in the teams laundry list of trophies acquired in the past decade.

The 36 year old Nesta leaves Milan having played well over 300 matches for the club. A Laziale by birth, Sandro moved to the rossonero outfit a decade ago, and became a key clog in the center of defense.

April 22, 2012
Posted by Matteo Bonetti on 04/22/2012

The English translation of zero titoli is zero titles, the dubious distinction Milan can claim starting today. Gutted out of the Champions League by the band of magical elves, trumpeted out of the Coppa Italia by a relentless Juventus side, and falling behind in the Scudetto race for a multitude of errors, injuries, and gaffes by the venerable Allegri.

Individually however, let's give recognition to the only award that will be handed out to a rossonero this season. With 24 goals on the year, Zlatan Ibrahimovic is sure to take home the Capocannoniere title. The title honors the Italian leagues top scorer, which ironically is half the amount of this years La Liga's pichichi. Well done Zlatan.

April 3, 2012
Posted by Matteo Bonetti on 04/03/2012

Let me first get the most important sentiment off my chest: Barcelona did not steal this game in the sense that they didn't deserve it, rather had an inept referee gift them an opportunity that they clearly did not need. They are the best team in the world, had many more chances than Milan, and generally are about as unstoppable as an asteroid the size of one of Bobo Vieri's boobs shooting towards the earth at a high rate of speed.

The last thing I want to debate is who deserved what, which penalties should or shouldn't have been awarded, and most importantly - does the controversial call against Nesta cancel out the penalty Barcelona should've had in the first game. I couldn't care less about that garbage now as it's banal talk. Milan are going back home to focus on winning the Scudetto, and may Barcelona meet Real Madrid in the final so casual bandwagon fans all over the world can rejoice with their collective erections for Clasico Fever.

March 26, 2012
Posted by Matteo Bonetti on 03/26/2012

At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if the main surgeon at the MilanLab looked like an extra from Freddy Kruger and changed tendons with a rusty scalpel in a dimly lit operating room.

How can you explain the current situation at Milan without feeling some sort of betrayal from the heads up top. Is it simply a sheer coincidence, or are we witnessing one of the most infamous health botches of all time. The questions circling the mind of many people (and players) around the club is: who's responsible for the mayhem? Well, let's take a quick look at the possibilities while discounting the naive myths.

February 29, 2012
Posted by Matteo Bonetti on 02/29/2012

I had to wait a few days to write this article. Simply put, it was the most agonizing ninety minutes of my life. If there was a video crew on hand to tape my sheer range of emotions I would've probably won an Oscar.

Now, as I wrote in my last article, our passion for football is what drives us to behave like uncontrollable idiots - pumping fists and gleeing in delight. However, a quick look towards the darker end of the spectrum and results vary. One moment can turn a passionate fan into a violent, raging lunatic, yelling obscenities and turning any simple household item in the room into a high speed projectile.

February 16, 2012
Posted by Matteo Bonetti on 02/16/2012

Sometimes you take a step back and wonder why you've wasted so many countless hours. Countless time engaged in incessant arguing, fighting, nagging, bragging, and shouting all in the honor of the team you've chosen to align yourself with from an early age.. However, you don't really mean anything to the squad itself. You're merely one of the numbers, feeding the millionaire players/owners simply by purchasing one piece of memorabilia. You wonder why something taking place (in some cases) on the other side of the world, could have such a profound effect on your well being.

You ponder why you'd skip school, or call in sick to work, to watch a game that in the end, is nothing more than a pixelated image on a screen, or often time an atrocious stream with a foreign language as commentary. Most of you have never been to the San Siro, or even Milan - but yet you bleed the colors of a team you've (mostly) never even seen in real life. Then it hits you. All these minutes spent following them, all the money spent supporting them - it all pays dividends on days like this. Days when a collective sports orgasm is reached. A simple pass or shot on goal gives you a burst of pure euphoria that really, is unmatched by any other event (except perhaps on a night out trying new substances with Moris Carrozzieri and Mark Iuliano). Now it all makes sense. Why we spend countless hours discussing, probing, arguing. Now, we feel a sense of sheer jubilance unlike anything else. What else could possibly make you jump out of your seat so violently as if Poseidon struck you in the heart with an electrical trident? No other feeling compares to this, except seeing Luca Antonini being subbed off.

February 13, 2012
Posted by Matteo Bonetti on 02/13/2012

Perhaps a Mitsubishi Eclipse isn't so bad after all. If Milan win the scudetto, and I repeat, "if", you can look at this Milan-Udinese match as the most important turning point of the season.

• We'll go with the Eclipse

Up until the entrance of the now immortal balon d'or candidate Maxi Lopez in the second half, everything was going astray for the rossonero outfit. A slow, lumbering midfield lacking ideas, a seemingly incoherent attack, whose lack of chemistry was alarming. And finally, the venerable coach Allegri, once again with that befuddled look on the sidelines that drives us to make these following assumptions/questions: Is he even breathing? Is he in a coma? Why hasn't he blinked in 15 minutes. Does he know the game ends in five minutes and we need a new striker on?

January 30, 2012
Posted by Matteo Bonetti on 01/30/2012

Imagine this: You're a teenager from an extremely wealthy family. One day, your father calls you to his work room and unexpectedly proposes the following scenario: "Son, I've thought long and hard about this, and have come to a decision about your first car, I will either purchase you a brand new Porsche 911, or lease a used Mitsubishi Eclipse." Mouth agape and puzzled at the bizarre variety of options thrown your way, you proceed to question -- but he stops you mid sentence and utters, "That is all, no questions asked. Go back to your room."

A week later, you arrive home from school in the bus, and see a yellow Mitsubishi Eclipse parked in your driveway. That is Maxi Lopez. Maxi Lopez is a Mitsubishi Eclipse. And a Mitsubishi Eclipse looks a bit out of place parked in the driveway of a multi million dollar mansion. Sure, it might look sleek from the outside, but inside, the smell of cloth runs rampant, and one of the cupholders is broken, and certainly being parked next to a Ferrari & a Range Rover doesn't help its overall image.. And Wanda Nara.. I'm getting off track, this literally makes no sense anymore... Anyway..

January 18, 2012
Posted by Matteo Bonetti on 01/18/2012

The derby della madonnina. A name synonymous with hyperventilation, uncontrollable anxiety, and palpitations furious enough to disintegrate an elderly heart.

These are just some of the feelings associated with the annual match between the two Milan sides. And I use the term 'Milan sides' loosely, considering one of the teams is based out of Buenos Aires, Argentina. Bragging rights are given to the victor for the next few months, where the person will ridicule/mock/physically assault the fan of the other team upon every encounter. It has caused friendships to split, marriages to end, and Cristiano Doni to place his wager.

Moving on..

About
Matteo Bonetti Born and raised just a few kilometers away from The San Siro, Matteo Bonetti has been watching the Rossoneri ever since childhood. The passion was instilled by a family whose fanaticism for the team dates back to the early 1900's. Instead of bursting with an obscenity laden tirade, or turning any object around him into a projectile weapon after a disappointing Milan outing, Matteo can now channel his emotions into a more effective, and most importantly: safe, manner - writing on a global platform. He is a young journalist whose grandfather was the Vice President of Milan nearly four decades ago. E-mail him: themilanguy@gmail.com, and follow him on twitter: @TheMilanGuy

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