It was one of the few boasting points of Gareth Southgate's managerial career that Boro had never lost to Arsenal under his stewardship. So much for that record, eh? In the absence of even that most pedantic point of pride this week, I've resolved to keep myself cheerful by cramming this entry with as many ballistics-based metaphors as possible.

So Boro's unlikely ambitions of snatching three points and a ticket out of the relegation zone were efficiently shot down by the Gunners. Cesc Fabregas was the marksman, firing off two lethal shots: one the product of a beautifully orchestrated Arsenal move, the second a composed finish to kill off any chances of Boro recovery.

After Andrei Arshavin's spectacular four-goal salvo against Liverpool in midweek, the Boro players could be forgiven for trudging onto the field as if they were about to face a firing squad, and our first half performance looked like that of a team keeping their heads down and hoping to avoid a similar broadside from the Russian. We played with such timid limpness that we were lucky to go in at the break only the single goal behind, and with a good penalty shout to boost morale as well.

We began the second half with more belief and actually returned some of Arsenal's fire. The Gunners might have saved their ammo for the impending Champion's League tie with Man United, but even when not playing to their capacity they outclassed us in every area. Two moments summed up our season: a magnificent ball from Downing played Aliadiere in but the Frenchman faltered against his old club and shot weakly at Almunia. Shortly afterwards, Fabregas broke clear of the defence as he ran onto a through ball, only to look up and see Brad Jones suicidally charging out of his goal. The diminutive Spaniard calmly went past the crazed Australian and fired home effortlessly into an empty net from 18 yards out.

Malfunctioning strikers and a defence liable to self-destruction are an all too familiar combination. This isn't the first time Jones has done something like this – in fact we might have been in the FA Cup final now after Alex Ferguson played his Under-11 squad against Everton at Wembley (and yes, I eat my words over labelling United “unstoppable” and banking on them to reach the final after we went out to Everton in the quarter-final) if not for Jones' error at Goodison. Ross Turnbull (remember him?) never made these awful mistakes, and why Southgate dropped him is still a mystery to me. Turnbull kept goal back at the start of the season when we weren't a joke of a side. Jones has largely presided over our plunge into relegation mire.

Results elsewhere have gone in our favour: we're no further from Hull than we were, Newcastle could only manage a point in possibly their most winnable game and Sunderland lost to fall back into trouble. The big problem is that we're banking on that infamous Boro capacity to turn up against (and turn over) the big teams. The performance against Arsenal was most definitely not how it's done. Granted they're the form team in the league right now, unbeaten in twenty and playing better football every week, but Southgate did not set his team up correctly. The back line was high, as evidenced by both goals, but the requisite pressing play wasn't there. Arsenal, the best passing side in the league, were allowed far too much time to stroke it around. It was a meek performance. Thank God the match against Man United is at the Riverside, the only place we look like earning a point right now.

Apologies for the brevity of this entry, by the way. I have a dissertation of considerable importance to finish by Friday. Next week's article will be better. Hopefully there'll be a positive result to save you from another barrage of awful wordplay.