It can't be great being Avram Grant. Every time the guy needs to catch a break the Manchester United team bus hovers into view. He must be sick of the sight of us. After his first and last matches at Chelsea (including Moscow) and nine goals against Portsmouth last term maybe the Israeli felt he’d been punished enough. Not so.

Now he finds himself in charge of a bunch who struggled against Oxford a few days ago. Playing at Old Trafford under these circumstances must have been as enticing as spending three years in a North Korean prison. But frankly, we let them off lightly.

I was as delighted as most football fans last year when the top-four was finally infiltrated by another club. I had even naively thought that we now had a more competitive league because of it.

After watching this total mismatch of a game I am not so sure. We really carved them up with ease and at times it barely seemed as if the Hammers were on the field. I should imagine Edwin Van Der Sar was able to daintily hang his jersey on a hanger to save on the washing for next week.

Spurs, and of course City, have pulled themselves up to the top of the table by spending more money than is digestible. More in fact, than the annual solidarity package that is distributed to the entire football league. Each.

Instead of a more competitive division what we really have a two-tier system. If you are a manager of a bottom half club you might as well opt for damage limitation on occasions such as this. Mick McCarthy’s boldly controversial selection policy last season now seems ahead of its time.

Nonetheless, we are United, this is Old Trafford and our rivals are banging in goals for fun. This victory was satisfying on many levels and I feel compelled to mention again how nice our football is at the moment. This is in stark contrast to Chelsea who managed to put six past Wigan last week and still be more boring than a 12 hour wait in the bank.

Keanu Reeves in The Matrix ©Getty

Berbatov’s Matrix like flying kick was the pick of the bunch but Nani’s was also a beauty. I suspect my Dad could have scored one similar though against that West Ham defence. Arsene Wenger, had he been asked, would have called the penalty ‘Old Trafford-ish’ but having Wayne Rooney on the scoresheet was as important as anything else that happened in this game.

The current Paul Scholes media love-in is entirely justified. The man is immense at the moment and along with Queen Elizabet I and Asterix he can count himself among the most important ginger-haired people in European history. We certainly looked less imposing when he went off the field for Carrick.

And that’s why we let them off. Poised above our victim with dagger in hand, Fergie makes three substitutions and kills off the game. Perhaps he’d decided Avram has had enough now. West Ham are definitely in trouble.

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