I am not into any of the darker elements of the famous enmity, but after the pasting we received last season United fans are entitled to enjoy a couple of things. Firstly, Benitez has clearly lost his dressing room, a fact made starker by the fact our best players were the hard working squad men Fletcher and Ji Sung Park.

It is hard to take your eyes off Rooney at the moment - however if do, you will see a hard working team who are working for each other. Our side is not without its flaws but there is a determination about them at this important stage of the season that gives me much to cheer.

Rooney regrets eating a third bowl of beans for breakfast. Fletcher has to look away. ©Getty Images

I don’t, however, think winning any further silverware is going to be easy. The run-ins for the top clubs have a dizzying number of close-to-call possibilities, the one thing we can be thankful for is that it is in our hands. To defeat Spurs, Chelsea and City during the final push would be some achievement. Ferguson deserves astounding credit for what the squad has accomplished already this season. The man is ridiculously dogged.

How the hell he made the “effing perch” comment and then stuck around twenty odd years to see it through I’ll never know.

Fidelity is an important thing. One must be loyal. This is why I promise, hand on heart, that I will enjoy beating other clubs less than Liverpool for all eternity. The feeling, no doubt, is mutual.

History is littered with great rivalries, Christianity vs Islam, Hitler vs Churchill and Wiley E Coyote vs Roadrunner have all made their mark on times gone by. Now it is time for a new contest – Fernando Torres vs karma.

As this tight game drew to a close the deadly Torres bore down on the United goal and tragedy beckoned. The ball bobbled on the very spot that he had earlier scuffed up in order to intimidate (chuckle) a penalty-taking Rooney. I was seriously worried that I might die laughing. Thankfully, after several hours I came to.

Next up are Bolton, then Bayern and Chelsea. Some week, it’s time to rock and roll.

Gary Neville refuses Carragher’s dinner invitation ©Getty Images

Footnote: Welcome back Owen Hargreaves, keep those knees together and we'll hope you can get some playtime. The above sentence cannot be used in any other context.

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