There is nothing wrong with optimism. Cynics claim they are merely being realistic but if I wanted to hang around with people who see something bad in everything good I’d start kicking back with Mary Whitehouse and Jeremy Paxman.
That’s not for me, I live in a world here the only reason Jessica Alba hasn’t confessed her undying love for me is because we haven’t met, where the winter is a gift and where it ain’t so bad if someone leaves the toilet seat up from time to time.
I do, however, have limits. Cruel experience has taught me never, ever to take anything for granted on the football field, and sure as hell not in the European Cup. UEFA has now drawn for the quarter-finals of the Champions League and more than one wise United fan has cheerfully looked up and said, "We'll have a chance to do Barcelona again in the final". Well hang on a bloody second. I may already have chosen a middle name and high-school for the third child Jessica and I will have in 2018, but this is football. Time to be serious.
Whilst our next sojourn into Europe gives us all an excuse to watch this again, it seems to have inspired a bit of innocent buffoonery in our support. So sadly, my cheerful little mind has come up with a list of reasons why we should not be over presumptuous about getting past Bayern Munich in the next round.
1. German football teams are famous for winning things. In the immortal words of Gary Linekar, "Football is eleven men against eleven and in the end the Germans win". Even when they are losing they can scare the bejesus out of you. For examples of this I cite the 1986 World Cup Final (quote after 1min and 6seconds here) and the 1999 Champions League final (watch it again). Tear-inducingly brilliant as that was, we were luckier than a leprechaun at the end of a rainbow in a pot of rabbits' feet.
2. Leverkeusen. Just that one vowel-heavy word can have me shaking my head. I still struggle to comprehend what went wrong in that semi-final and the experience alone should be enough to stop people taking things for granted. But if it isn't...
3. ...then feel free to cast an eye over the events at Craven Cottage this week. I doubt any Juve supporters seriously thought they could get turned over in the second leg. But that air of deduction proved to be fatal.
4. French teams are no joke at the moment. So, HYPOTHETICALLY, we beat Bayern and meet, for example, Lyon in the next round - what can we expect? A team that has already seen to Real Madrid this year must be respected and there is the intriguing master/apprentice duel between Fergie and Larry White to consider too. This clip exemplifies they do always work out in favour of the master.
5. Even if we do get past everybody else and meet Barca again let's not overlook the fact that they are actually a pretty special team. This week they did for Stuttgart what the volcano did for Pompeii. Even if we manage to clone Wayne Rooney and replace his skeleton with tungsten steel I still reckon they'd be a handful.
Mind you, it'd be wicked if we could do Barca in the final and make up for last ye... DAMN!
Comments
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Posted by jervis on 03/20/2010
awesome writing! cheers to you all the way from singapore!
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Posted by Zubair on 03/20/2010
haha brilliant article mate, good reading and yeah, we really cannot underestimate Bayern here, however, I feel that should we get past Munich, the real test would be getting past the Frenchies... I'd rather play Lyon than Bordeaux.
Hoping for the best
Zubair (South Africa)
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Posted by marcloo on 03/20/2010
Can't we meet barcelona before the final? It'll be great to beat them twice.
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Posted by vincejones on 03/22/2010
The media are pumping up Man Utd a bit too much, if they meet Barcelona again they will lose again... even if they meet Inter theyll lose.
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Posted by Jeremy on 03/22/2010
nope they are on the other side of the draw.
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Posted by Dallas(nigeria) on 03/22/2010
united are too comfortable now and it might get into thier head. yeah sir alex would do his technical thing, but the likes of rooney, nani and evra might just think its a stroll in the park. bayern are as good favorites as united so we should go in defensively hopin to score an away goal and keep old trafford a fotress. rem i told u!
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Posted by Tapiwa Mubonderi on 03/22/2010
Insightful analysis, not too mention the bloody gunners in the league. I however believe that we have hit stride at the right time and SAF said he went over the Roma final and realised where he got it wrong against Pep, so lets hope we humble Bayern, they seem to have defence weaknesses. So I believe either Barca, Inter or Arsenal will be in the other leg of the final. It would be dejavu if Arsenal come 2nd in the remaining cups like Chelsea two years ago.
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Posted by hernan on 03/23/2010
awesome article but i think a lot of people are forgetting something.....CSKA Moscow
I know they don´t say much, european fame speaking, but they had us 3-1 in old trafford and we draw with luck. I honestly believe that at this point there isn´t a easy team and we should not be overly confident, yet in this bayern-manchester united tie i think we have the edge even if its minimum.
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Posted by steve(zambia) on 03/23/2010
this is da best position dat manu cn b in...doin fine in da league...quartefinals of da champs league...considerin wat evrybody ws expectin @ da beginin of da season...
da best tactician of o SAF wl mos def cum up wit sumfin out of hs big buk 2 mek sure we get evrythg...tho it wl nt b lyk a stroll in da park...
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Posted by Joseph on 03/24/2010
We made our own luck in the final against Bayern. True they had much of the play in the game - but considering we were without Scholes and Keane, and that we never stopped believing for the entirety of the the match - I thought we earned that win.
All things considered, we couldn't ask for a much better possible draw for the next 2 rounds - we avoid Inter & Barcelona and play at home in both 2nd legs I believe. The path is set for Utd - to win the trophies, you must be able to beat any team that is put in front of you.
Ultimately that may be Barca - but for now, we must focus on the league and Bayern.
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Posted by Eddie G. on 03/24/2010
Hey Mark!
Spot on as ever... except for the um... Jessica Alba bit. But hey who knows, she might be a United supporter and may one day Google for "witty United correspondents who are fantasizing about me" and voila! She'll be taken straight here! And all this may happen even before Pool wins their next league title!
While we can be thankful that this is not the class of '99 Bayern that United are facing, they're still a force to be reckoned with. And all of us know that complacency is any team's worst enemy
As for the league, it was a mere 14 days ago when everyone was saying that Arsenal were out of it. But football always has a way of sneaking up behind people who assume too much.
As for me and my house, I will not be speaking of our UCL Final with Barca until... okay scratch that.
Keep the posts coming, Mark!
p.s. What WERE you gonna call your third child anyway?
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Posted by DON on 03/24/2010
Since Ferguson has 100 million to spent on new players. Please get David Villa (40m)& Silva (20m) from Valencia that would only cost 60 million. Both of them is an excellent & skillful player & Man Utd need them. So please get them into Man utd. Our striking force will be superb & midfield will be excellent. They will still have balance of 40 million.
To my Man Utd fAN..... Support me if im correct!!!
TQ
Cheers
Don
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Posted by Parry Pants on 03/24/2010
hey mark.....insightfull!!...
Jessica Alba was a great way to get to the talking points.....
..dumping assumptions in the ocean.....the road to madrid doesn't seem easy in the wildest of dreams .At least when Ribery and Robben come running.
and on the top of every thing.....Rooney is hopping off old trafford!
Moreover when it's germany...it's pride!!...they like to overcome things in the most stylish manner...and then their physical abilities come hitting along the way to victory... ^
as eddie g says^^---complancency is the last thing we want..!..In the League...Arsenal have emerged out of no where...and look set...with no more crucial games to play.....while united still to host Chelsea and visit City..!!
so it's all... to wait and watch it unfold!!
god knows who will be our 'Ole g Solskjaer' this time.....!!
keep writing ...mark!!,....
MUFC TILL ETERNITY!!
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Posted by The Grimace on 03/24/2010
I shall be staying away from the Bayern game. I've seen us play them twice - away in Munich in 1998 at the Group Stage and then at OT in 2001. Each time they broke our achy-breaky hearts with a late goal. It must have something to do with me being there. And then their fans start singing 'You'll Never Walk Alone'. In English.
Posted by Nelle on 05/25/2011
Now we know who the snesilbe one is here. Great post!
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Mark Payne writes about football for a variety of media outlets. He reported on the 2010 World Cup for Australia’s ABC network and worked at one of the FIFA fan sites. He has been ESPN’s Manchester United correspondent for four years. His writing attracts a worldwide following and in 2011 this blog was nominated for an award. To contact Mark for football discussion e-mail him on markpayne.editor@hotmail.com at any time. He wears lucky socks on match days.
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