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Manchester United
November 21, 2009
Posted by Mark Payne on 11/21/2009

It's nice to be back in the Premier League this weekend and back to the business at hand as opposed to all this business about a handball. FIFA's influence on the week's events has muddied their fair play policy in all the wrong ways, some games are fairer than others, eh Sepp? But FIFA's true crime against the game came a few years ago when they endorsed the FIFA console game. Park football has never been the same since.

November 9, 2009
Posted by Mark Payne on 11/09/2009

Like a particularly plump man who was invited to dinner by Hannibal Lector, I had feared the worst about this fixture. Looking at recent form a massacre wouldn’t have been entirely unexpected. But I had a feeling that if we actually had a go and went for it we had a chance. So it proved to be. This was not the most attacking formation Ferguson has fielded in his 23 years at United, however, it was one with intent.

November 6, 2009
Posted by Mark Payne on 11/06/2009

There have been a lot of grumbles about Real Madrid from our side over the last couple of years. The protracted Ronaldo transfer and the manner in which it was conducted has put an awful lot of people's backs up. Madrid are now seen as lacking class and respect to the red side from Mancunia.

November 4, 2009
Posted by Mark Payne on 11/04/2009

Regular readers of this column will know all about The Crinkleys. They are a group of curmudgeonly old United fans made up of my Dad and his school mates who I often attend home matches with. One of their catchphrases, no doubt chiselled from decades of watching the team, is "they make us suffer". My goodness they did that tonight at Old Trafford.

November 2, 2009
Posted by Mark Payne on 11/02/2009

Ayers Rock, Mount Everest, Greenland, Sam Allardyce. Blackburn's manager is not a small fella. I am reliably informed that in order to stay upright he is required to use one of those anti-gravity belts beloved of Baron Vladimir Harkonnen in Dune. But enough about this Jupiter of a man (Big Sam has my total respect by the way, this is the guy who made Bolton a force). United are famous for big things too. We have had Big Ron, Big Norm, big crowds of course and are The Biggest Football Club in the World TM. What we have not had yet this season is a big performance. We need one.