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Manchester United
November 6, 2009
Posted by Mark Payne 1 day, 15 hours ago

There have been a lot of grumbles about Real Madrid from our side over the last couple of years. The protracted Ronaldo transfer and the manner in which it was conducted has put an awful lot of people's backs up. Madrid are now seen as lacking class and respect to the red side from Mancunia.

November 4, 2009
Posted by Mark Payne 3 days, 16 hours ago

Regular readers of this column will know all about The Crinkleys. They are a group of curmudgeonly old United fans made up of my Dad and his school mates who I often attend home matches with. One of their catchphrases, no doubt chiselled from decades of watching the team, is "they make us suffer". My goodness they did that tonight at Old Trafford.

November 2, 2009
Posted by Mark Payne 5 days, 13 hours ago

Ayers Rock, Mount Everest, Greenland, Sam Allardyce. Blackburn's manager is not a small fella. I am reliably informed that in order to stay upright he is required to use one of those anti-gravity belts beloved of Baron Vladimir Harkonnen in Dune. But enough about this Jupiter of a man (Big Sam has my total respect by the way, this is the guy who made Bolton a force). United are famous for big things too. We have had Big Ron, Big Norm, big crowds of course and are The Biggest Football Club in the World TM. What we have not had yet this season is a big performance. We need one.

October 26, 2009
Posted by Mark Payne 1 week, 5 days ago

I have a lot of affection for the eighties. John Hughes was making quality movies such as this, knee socks were in fashion and United didn’t lose to Liverpool. The days of Whiteside nobbling Steve McMahon and wee Gordie Strachan's cigar celebration are a distant memory on the horizon.

October 19, 2009
Posted by Mark Payne 2 weeks, 5 days ago

It was interesting to see the club still advertising 'tickets available' in the run up to a home game against local opposition. It has taken a while, but the Glazers may be starting to pay for the continual, cynical raising of ticket prices. Cancel the ambulance, my heart is not bleeding.

September 28, 2009
Posted by Mark Payne on 09/28/2009

It is hard to get philosophical about an away game at Stoke. It is going to be difficult and is likely to be grim. What’s more, last week we were being fed the football equivalent of lobster on the top of Mount Olympus by a naked Marilyn Monroe – so it was always going to be a come down from there.

September 24, 2009
Posted by Mark Payne on 09/24/2009

This has been a terrible week for my health. On Sunday I nearly had a heart attack and for the following two days I couldn't draw breath. Since then I have been breaking out into uncontrollable fits of laughter. It is only this morning I realise the giggling must stop. We have troubles in defence guys.

September 14, 2009
Posted by Mark Payne on 09/14/2009

Character is alive and well at Manchester United FC. With all due respect to last year’s Mickey Mouse Cup Final this was probably the biggest match off between the two clubs since the sixties. United were fantastic.

As one of our readers has pointed out, the commentators on ESPN were very Spurs biased (thanks Roberta) which was pretty out of order. I’ll turn the sound off and take the three points any day of the week.

September 3, 2009
Posted by Mark Payne on 09/03/2009

You have always got to question yourself if found agreeing with Mark Lawrenson. Monsieur mole-moustache and moi were both of the opinion that Fergie would buy again and we were both wrong.

August 27, 2009
Posted by Mark Payne on 08/27/2009

It really has been a wonderful week. United win five nil, England claim the ashes and fortress Anfield is ransacked by men in purple shirts. There has been a bit of glow to bask in – but just as we start to relax the Arsenal team bus comes into view.

About
Mark Payne Mark Payne is a freelance journalist and general football obsessive. He has written for a host of travel, business and lifestyle publications and has also contributed to some second-rate TV shows. His constant United ramblings can be found at www.thedevilinme.co.uk and he can be contacted for football discussion at any time via markpayne.editor@hotmail.com.
He thinks Clayton Blackmore was underrated.
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