There have been a lot of grumbles about Real Madrid from our side over the last couple of years. The protracted Ronaldo transfer and the manner in which it was conducted has put an awful lot of people's backs up. Madrid are now seen as lacking class and respect to the red side from Mancunia.

Regular readers of this column will know all about The Crinkleys. They are a group of curmudgeonly old United fans made up of my Dad and his school mates who I often attend home matches with. One of their catchphrases, no doubt chiselled from decades of watching the team, is "they make us suffer". My goodness they did that tonight at Old Trafford.

Ayers Rock, Mount Everest, Greenland, Sam Allardyce. Blackburn's manager is not a small fella. I am reliably informed that in order to stay upright he is required to use one of those anti-gravity belts beloved of Baron Vladimir Harkonnen in Dune. But enough about this Jupiter of a man (Big Sam has my total respect by the way, this is the guy who made Bolton a force). United are famous for big things too. We have had Big Ron, Big Norm, big crowds of course and are The Biggest Football Club in the World TM. What we have not had yet this season is a big performance. We need one.

I have a lot of affection for the eighties. John Hughes was making quality movies such as this, knee socks were in fashion and United didn’t lose to Liverpool. The days of Whiteside nobbling Steve McMahon and wee Gordie Strachan's cigar celebration are a distant memory on the horizon.

It was interesting to see the club still advertising 'tickets available' in the run up to a home game against local opposition. It has taken a while, but the Glazers may be starting to pay for the continual, cynical raising of ticket prices. Cancel the ambulance, my heart is not bleeding.

It is hard to get philosophical about an away game at Stoke. It is going to be difficult and is likely to be grim. What’s more, last week we were being fed the football equivalent of lobster on the top of Mount Olympus by a naked Marilyn Monroe – so it was always going to be a come down from there.

This has been a terrible week for my health. On Sunday I nearly had a heart attack and for the following two days I couldn't draw breath. Since then I have been breaking out into uncontrollable fits of laughter. It is only this morning I realise the giggling must stop. We have troubles in defence guys.

Character is alive and well at Manchester United FC. With all due respect to last year’s Mickey Mouse Cup Final this was probably the biggest match off between the two clubs since the sixties. United were fantastic.

As one of our readers has pointed out, the commentators on ESPN were very Spurs biased (thanks Roberta) which was pretty out of order. I’ll turn the sound off and take the three points any day of the week.

You have always got to question yourself if found agreeing with Mark Lawrenson. Monsieur mole-moustache and moi were both of the opinion that Fergie would buy again and we were both wrong.

It really has been a wonderful week. United win five nil, England claim the ashes and fortress Anfield is ransacked by men in purple shirts. There has been a bit of glow to bask in – but just as we start to relax the Arsenal team bus comes into view.