Hallo from Greenbow, Alabama. You know, mama always used to say, "Fulham is like a box of choc-o-lates. You never know what yer gonna get." Now I don't know too much about your kind of football. I did play some college football when I was young for Alabama, but that ball sure was not round. Are your guys playing with the right ball? I wondered 'bout that at times during your game with the Aston Villa. I can also tell you some things about ping pong, I played that fo' a while in the US Army - maybe some of your guys could try that? I got some old paddles they can use.

OK, I believe I have to appraise the individuals in your team. I really like the guy in yellah. That's my favourite colour. It's ma fav'rite 'cause it was the colour of Jenny's hair when we was growin' up. She's dead now. That's all I have to say about that.

I couldn't tell any diffurence between one guy an' another in yer outfield. "Stupid is as stupid does," that's another thing mama used to say often. But I did get the impression they sure liked to do a whole ton a' runnin' to no real effect. Now I've done a lot of that myself, and that's somethin' I do know about. I also know quite a bit about the shrimping business, an' when I heard some people near me screaming your Fulham guys cannot find the net...hey, give us a call. Here I can surely help you.

I also heard folk say some things that troubled me. That your captain has 'lost his legs.' Now you won't believe this but that happened to my commanding officer in Vietnam, an' he was really down about that for a while. L'tenant Dann was his name. But he pulled through an' now he's ma' captain in the shrimping business. You tell yer captain he's jus' gotta have faith.

I also heard yer team has to go to the 'Dark Side' soon so I'm gonna make sure we all pray for Fulham in church this week. I don't think I have any more to write now and here comes my bus. So I just wanna wish you all good luck for the future. And what the heck does COYW mean?

F.Gump
Greenbow, Alabama