They say the best music belongs to the devil. In considering Diego Maradona, it could be said that Satan also had a handle on the best footballer.

Saturday's destruction of Venezuela by Argentina was described by Maradona, presiding over his first competitive game as national coach, as "a perfect game". And he should know about these things. Though one could beg to differ after Lionel Messi's unbelievably skilful run in the latter stages ended with him narrowly missing the target. The chance to hail Maradona's new charges as "five star" had gone but Messi's burst past a bewildered defence could only bring back memories of one man. That man, meanwhile, was pacing along the sideline, roaring on his charges.

Of all the Maradona impressionists we've had since the great man's playing career ebbed away, Lionel Messi is undoubtedly the best. And could just be the player to make sure that Maradona doubles the membership of Franz Beckenbauer's exclusive club of captaining and coaching his country to World Cup glory. Yet Messi is no Maradona. Not even close.

Steven Gerrard was last week hailed as the best player in the world by none other than Zinedine Zidane, a man more than acquainted with that label.

On recent form, Zizou might just be right, as Real Madrid, Manchester United and Aston Villa will attest. Yet this weekend and next week, we expect to see a different Gerrard. Because, dear readers, "Stevie G", as he is never called by Fabio Capello, in contrast to the toothy chumminess of Steve McClaren, will be playing for England.

Put an England shirt on him and that strutting, probing and driving style that this week made former Liverpool midfielder Terry McDermott able to place Gerrard alongside Kenny Dalglish in the Anfield pantheon, becomes diluted. Gerrard's ability to power around the field, fighting and winning battles as he goes, has rarely been viewed during his England career.

Can Liverpool and Chelsea ever be pulled apart in the Champions League? Five years in a row of footballing tedium and we're back for more. Rafa Benitez will face his third different Chelsea boss when his team entertains the Blues at Anfield for their quarter-final tie.

Strangely, for all Jose Mourinho's tactical reputation, only Avram Grant has got the better of him in the competition, after his team were given the whip hand by John Arne Riise's inexplicable own-goal in the first leg.

The last meeting, the second leg of last season's semi-final, was a far better footballing display than any of the previous, with Chelsea powering home in extra-time just when it seemed Benitez might again get the better of them. It is to be hoped that there will be more of the same and not the rank boredom of the two group games the pair played against each other in the 2005-6 season. Those rota-ed in the office to work the shift are hardly licking their lips.

Does Cristiano Ronaldo still refer to Real Madrid as “my dream”? He may well have been wincing after the evidence of Tuesday’s nightmarish show against Liverpool. Ponderous, ill-disciplined and lacking in quality, Real Madrid showed why their supposed grandeur is now shrouded by delusion.

Another Champions League failure to follow a series of post-2002 flops; each one reflecting diminishing returns. Since Zinedine Zidane’s thumping volley in Glasgow to lift the trophy, the club has been through a litany of managers, all of whom have failed to repeat the stoic stability of Vicente Del Bosque, whose enforced exit in the summer of 2003 made Roman Abramovich look slow on the draw. Big signings have been and gone, with David Beckham personifying a pattern of players being relinquished when Real has flogged what they think is the best out of them.

On Wednesday, Ronaldo came up against Luis Figo, his friend and idol, another man shown the door by the Castillan club once they’d had their use of him. He could tell his younger compatriot the way in which Los Meringues chew up players and spit them out. Figo and his galactico counterparts could tell Ronaldo the way in which Real’s buying of big names at the expense of squad strength made them a team who long looked burned out and lacking in structure.

"If you want me to rule out ever being Manchester United manager I can't."

Jose Mourinho's latest round of self-publicity will surprise few. Yet in stating his interest in succeeding Sir Alex Ferguson at Old Trafford he was doing more than to try and unsettle imminent opposition.

A sense of destiny is something that drives the self-styled "Special One" on. His mission was not quite accomplished at Chelsea where even his ego could not outdo that of Roman Abramovich, a man with the attention span and patience of a spoiled child with a playroom full of toys. Life at Internazionale is proving more difficult than he thought, despite a clear lead at the top of Serie A. After getting on so well with the press in the UK, where his preening, sly digs and jocular jibes made him manna to the average hack wanting to hit their word-count with a minimum of effort, Italy's media has not reacted too well to his brash brand of hectoring and wind-ups.

I predicted the other week on our podcast that the Beckham-to-Milan saga would rumble on until the very last moment it can. Once again, I can barely claim clairovoyancy as one of my gifts; do transfers and decisions in football ever get left to anything but the very last minute?

A Beckham phrase that keeps amusing me is "I've loved my time in the Galaxy", not because it's not true, just because it sounds as if David Beckham, having conquered Earth and its merchandising possibilities now fancies earning lucre light years away. In reality, of course, he really means that he wants to play top-level football while he still can but does not want to offend his club, their fans or any sponsors, current or potential.

Bruce Arena has repeated the naively hopeful mantra that Beckham is coming back on March 9. "Nothing has been stated publicly that he's leaving," Arena said this week. "No one has said that he's leaving." Well, that's open to question. Several sources have said he's leaving and Beckham's words, though typically anodyne, point to a different outcome. Milan have played it very calm indeed, with the assurance of a club that almost always get their man.