Maybe they should bring it back; surely there is a whole host of talent out there that could front it; perhaps Dwain Chambers, Peaches Geldoff or Michael Jackson's doctor could do the honours?
Anyways back to events at the Turf.
First to ink his Claret's contract was Tyrone Mears making him Burnley's first ever Premier League signing.
At half a million pounds Mears looks a steal, a right back of great ability who possesses the undoubted pace and power that we ultimately lack as a Premier League outfit.
Big money transfers from Preston to West Ham and then from the Boleyn Ground to Derby County shows that he is a player who has been highly valued and sought after. As does Marseille's desperation to keep him, apparently offering over double our offer as a last ditch effort to secure his services permanently.
There is no doubt that Mears comes with a little baggage. He spectacularly fell out with his old Derby boss Paul Jewell and snuck off to meet the French club's officials after the Rams decided to turn down their offer of a trial and loan deal for the player.
Such was Mear's desperation to get away from the scouse Ron Jeremy he apparently climbed through a window in order to crawl past his manager's office at Derby's training ground to collect his boots before legging it across the channel.
I'm surprised Jewell didn't give chase in his shag-mobile forcing our Tyrone to bunk down in a HGV posing as a shin-pad wearing asylum seeker in an attempt to escape the clutches of the evil porn star.
Long before all this malarkey the right back decided to switch the name on the back of his Preston shirt from the customary surname to his nickname "Tye". This unsavoury incident left him looking more like a second rate hip hop artist than a professional footballer.
But now all that's behind him and he comes to Turf Moor older and hopefully wiser.
Even though injury meant Mears only made a handful of appearances for Marseille, the change in lifestyle will hopefully have been a positive influence on him.
The best thing about this signing is that "Tye" has something to prove. His spells in the Premier League, particularly with West Ham, haven't been a great success and at 26 now must show he is able to play in the world's top division.
We must also commend his keenness to get to the club, cutting short his holiday in Marbella to complete the deal.
As the day rolled on, more was to come. News filtered through that Hibernian had given us permission to speak with Steven Fletcher and that he was at Turf Moor ready to discuss terms and complete his medical.
Before the day was out the 22-year-old signed a four year deal and became the club's new record signing.
Like Martin Paterson before him, Fletcher comes with a reputation of being a hard worker and a talented finisher. The Scottish International who has been capped four times by his country and netted over fifty times for Hib's has also been linked with a plethora of top clubs during his relatively short career, including Real Madrid.
The fans north of the border seem to love him and explain that his less than prolific season last time out was down to their manager's long ball, unattractive style of play. Given this, his game should fit in nicely with the open and attacking philosophy employed by Coyle.
There is no doubt that he is not the finished article but neither are we as a team and a season in the Premier League will give Fletcher and fellow young guns Martin Paterson, Chris McCann, Chris Eagles, Jay Rodriguez, Kevin McDonald and our third signing of the week David Edgar a chance to develop in English football's top flight.
Edgar joined on Wednesday from Newcastle with Owen Coyle circling the Fog on the Tyne to pick the bones from a great big Geordie carcass.
Another defensive option at centre half or right back, the 22-year-old is best known for his leadership skills will also add youth and vibrancy to our back line.
The Canadian burst on the scene at St James Park last season with a debut goal against Manchester United; and with him suspended for our season opener at Stoke, lightening could definitely strike twice when the champions arrive at Turf Moor on August 17th.
So what a great week for new arrivals as our Premier League squad begins to take shape; but it sounds as if Owen Coyle is not done yet with reports this morning suggesting Hamilton youngsters James McCarthy and Brian Easton are next on his shopping list.
As the season approaches I've no doubt that the Owen Coyle revolution will roll on and continue to try and break records, whether Kris Akabusi and Co care or not.
RSS feed
