It is with great honour, and much relief that I welcome South Korean Wonderkid Lee Chung-Yong to the mighty Lilywhites. He follows in the illustrious footsteps of Park Ji-Sung and Seol Ki-Hyeon, fighting on the twin front lines of Premier League points and East Asian shirt sales. To ensure a seamless and trouble-free introduction to the squad, I have some useful phrases to help Gary Megson get his message across to his newest arrival.

구석을 위해 돌아오십시오 - "The corner hazard return."
That's right. Expect Megson and his strengthened squad to focus on organized team defence this season. It may not always be pretty, but a few more clean sheets would be welcome this season.

풋볼 투수의 다른 끝에 축구를 보내십시오 - "The foot ball pitcher send the soccer to different end."
Talking about not being pretty, it might just be me but I don't see any departure from Megson's utilitarian brand of football. Expect Bolton to rely Kevin Davies' grit up front and Matty Taylor's set-pieces for goals. That way, any sort of contribution for Johan Elmander is a bonus! Speaking of which…

당신은 이 스웨덴 남자로 방을 공유할 수 있을 것인가? - "You it will be able to own jointly the room with this Sweden man?"
Megson should be doing whatever it takes to get Elmander to look like an £11m striker. While he didn't come across from Toulouse as a 30-goal striker, 5 goals last season didn't represent a great return from the club's record signing. Could this be the start of a beautiful partnership between Lee and Johan?

선술집에서 멀리 체재하십시오 - "Stay far from the bar."
At a modest club there can be no room for any David Bentley-esq shenanigans. Under Big Sam players' diets and training was closely monitored, and a return to that kind of off-the-field discipline couldn't hurt.

생존에 있는 다량 명예가 있다 - "There is a vast quantity honour which is survival."
Let's not get ahead of ourselves. At a time when the landscape of the Premier League is getting bigger and more dangerous, ensuring survival as quickly as possible should be the target of most clubs. Anything more is gravy.