Time's up, pens down. Close the chequebooks and pass them to the front. And shut the window on your way out.

What a mess it's all become, giving high-rollers like Spurs just a month to correct the summer's mistakes and giving pseudo-contenders like Arsenal just a month to add the final piece. Oh, and of course there's Manchester City...

At the other end of the Premier League Food Chain, The Big One had to keep Roque Santa Cruz chained to a radiator for a whole month. And it's not as if he's the only one desperate to keep hold of his crown jewels.

Which makes Bolton's only major transaction of the window more puzzling.

As far as I can tell, Gary Megson has yet to speak publicly about Kevin Nolan's move to Newcastle United. As I have already said, I can't really begrudge Kevin a move after a great decade of service, but Megson's silence and the relatively small fee indicates to me that there must have been a transfer request at some point for it all to happen so suddenly.

Which is a shame, but it's happened and it's time to move on. In that spirit let's take one more ride on the rollercoaster that was January. Here is Gary Megson's January 2009 Timeline:

2nd January
Megson talks about £3million bid for James Morrison of West Brom, an early indication that midfield will be a priority.

3rd January
After humiliating Sunderland at the Stadium of Light at the end of November, Bolton cunningly crash out of the FA Cup to free up February for golf in Spain.

6th January
Bolton take World Cup winner Denílson on trial.

10th January
Bolton hold out for 85 minutes against Arsenal at Ashburton Grove, which was a 500% improvement on the result at the Reebok.

12th January
Bolton give up on Newcastle's Joey Barton before he even gets close to signing for the club. �..We move on�.�, says Megson.

15th January
Bolton secure centre-half Sebastien Puygrenier on loan from Zenit St Petersburg. �..We are looking forward to seeing whether he can defend�.�, says Megson.

16th January
Bolton snap up Portuguese battering-ram Ariza Makukula on loan ahead of West Brom. Megson announces he has been priced out of a move for Jimmy Bullard and Denílson will not be signing for the club.

17th January
Dimitar Berbatov scores in injury time as Bolton don't win again.

24th January
First rumblings of a shock £12million move for Sporting Lisbon midfielder Miguel Veloso. Right away Gary Megson sounds pessimistic about the deal.

26th January
Bolton sign former England Under-17 captain Mark Davies from Wolves.

28th January
Bolton throw away a two-goal lead at Ewood Park and let The Big One off the hook.

29th January
Gary Megson blasts �..pathetic�.� Bolton away support, after his directionless team throw away a two-goal lead against local rivals and probable fellow relegation candidates. �..You have to wonder about the intelligence of these people�.�, says Megson. Cheers Gary.

30th January
Kevin Nolan competes £4million move to Newcastle. Megson refuses to discuss the deal.

31st January
Kevin Davies scores late to beat Spurs, after Bolton throw away another lead. Gary Megson states he still has two transfer targets and is confident of securing at least one. He won't.

So, for a whole month Megson was chasing midfielders. Hmm...

Maybe he had known for a month that Kevin Nolan would be moving on. Maybe they'd let the Newcastle bid sit on the table hoping for someone else to come in and raise the price. Maybe he said no to Jimmy Bullard because he refused to pay £5million when he would be replacing a player four years younger and costing £1million less. That would kinda all make sense, right?

Except, this is the Premier League Transfer Window, when common sense goes out of the window and Bolton get fleeced again. Last year it was Anelka, this year Nolan. Maybe Gavin McCann to Liverpool next January?

You never know.

P.S.
As a sad epilogue to my miserable transfer window, I decided to torture myself and watch the last ten minutes of the Tyne-Wear derby. He'd only been there a day and Kevin Nolan was the de facto leader of that terrible Newcastle side, urging his new teammates forward and putting his body on the line.

It was then that I realised what really hurt the most about Kevin Nolan moving on. Now he's doing these things on a bigger stage, people will watch him and fall in love with him like I did, and suddenly he won't be the biggest secret in the Premier League any more.