Paulaner Traumelf 0 : 15 Bayern Munich
This sponsored Paulaner Cup des Suedens was never going to be a close match, but 15-0 has got to sting a little bit, aye? Close to 14 thousand fans across the world applied for the chance to get their butts kicked by die Roten. Twenty eight were chosen.
There is not much to say about this match tactically or otherwise, considering the competition, but the pace and interplay, especially through the midfield, was lovely to watch. Franck Ribery scored the goal of the match on 79 minutes from 45 (!) yards out.
The rest of the tally: 1-0 Mueller (5), 2-0 Mandzukic (11), 3-0 and 4-0 Mueller (18, 21), 5-0 Shaqiri (33), 6-0 Lahm (39, penalty), 7-0 Shaqiri (41), 8-0 Kroos (57), 9-0, 10-0, 11-0 and 12-0 Gomez (63, 71, 76, 77), 13-0 Ribery (79), 14-0 Gomez (80), 15-0 Kroos (82).
The only bad news to come out of this match? Another defender bites the dust. Diego Contento is the latest full-back on the injury list, joining Rafinha (torn ligament) and David Alaba (stress fracture) with a stress fracture in his foot. He will be reevaluated in ten days.
Kaiserslautern 2 : 3 Bayern Munich
In Wednesday's rather unfriendly friendly we got a much better mark of where Bayern actually stands. And despite the close scoreline, the winning result was never really in doubt as Munich played the newly-demoted (again) Red Devils off the pitch for long stretches of the match.
'Slautern's first goal on 35 minutes was a free kick by Florian Dick (What a Dick!) after he was fouled just outside the box by Luis Gustavo. Although Neuer got a bit of a late jump on this one, I'm gonna blame it on the fact that he was looking directly in the sun. Their second goal was scored in the last minute as Toni Kroos inexplicably lost the ball to Schechter who found himself in a one-on-one situation with Manuel.
Bayern Munich: Neuer - Lahm, Van Buyten (Boateng 46), Badstuber (Dante 73), Luiz Gustavo – Tymoshchuk (Can 59), Kroos – Robben (Weiser 81), Mueller, Shaqiri (Schoepf 87) - Gomez (Mandzukic 59)
Bayern's first goal on 23 minutes involved a zippy bit of play between Shaqiri, Robben and Mueller, with Mario Gomez fluffing his strike leaving it to a waiting Thomas on the far post. Emre Can on 68 minutes and Xherdan Shaqiri on 86 minutes both slotted in to open goals as substitute keeper Hohs over-committed twice.
Some style notes
The central defensive / midfield pairing of van Buyten and Tymoschuk was slow and slower. Daniel allowed too much to get behind him and Tymo was sloppy. They were definitely the weak link in the first half, noted by the improvement in play when Boateng was introduced for DvB and Emre Can for Antoliy.
I'm really enjoying Emre Can's inclusion in the first team. I have a feeling he's a big reason why the talk of acquiring Lars Bender or Javi Martinez has cooled. At only 18 years old, while yet to be truly tested in the Bundesliga, he's showing good positional sense. Uli Hoeness has called him "the midfielder of the future and a jewel for Bayern Munich".
Luis Gustavo did a fine job as a left back replacing first and second choices David Alaba and Diego Contento. Hopefully Jupp Heynckes will keep Lahm on the right and Goose on the left in the upcoming weeks while the other two get back to fitness. It's nice to have the surplus of talent, for once, where Luis is not exclusively needed as a defending midfielder.
Arjen Robben, while not on the scoreboard, was up to his old tricks and I'm glad to see it so. It was a complete match for the Dutchman with plenty of pretty crosses, a well-saved free kick and (gasp!) even a tackle to win a ball back.
The LIGA total! cup is next in Hamburg this weekend starring Bremen, Dortmund, HSV and Bayern. Bayern sees Werder Bremen first. But, more on that tomorrow...
Are you ready for some football?
You can (and should) follow Susie on Twitter at: www.twitter.com/fussballsusie